Dear Mirena

One week ago today you were expunged from my uterus. I was overcome with instant relief. Finally, I can get on with my life. I will be human again. I will be normal(ish) again.

These are the things I have noticed in the past week:

*Bloating? Gone.

*Headaches? After 2 days, gone.

*Cramping? After 2 days, gone.

*Sleeplessness? Haven't used an aid in 4 days.

*Depression? Gone.

*Dizzy spells? Gone.

*Extreme abdominal pain when laying down? Gone.

*Backaches? Less severe. (A back injury 15+ years ago will prevent this from ever going away)

*Sex drive? It's baaaack.

*Flying off the handle over stupid shit? Gone.

*Energy? Have some.

*Extreme hunger? Eatin' normal.

*Losing weight? Yep.

*The "Crazies"? Dwindling.

And this is only after 1 week. I haven't worn my contacts yet to see if I can see out of them, but I will. There have been a couple minor issues, but I am hopeful that they are part of the "withdrawal symptoms".

I do feel 90% better. And I do feel human. And I do feel like life can be good again.

Thanks Dr. G, for not trying to talk me out of this. And thanks for telling me you had removed 2 other Monsters that week. It's comforting to know that I am not the only patient of yours who lost her friggin mind while being attacked by that horrible Monster.

So long Mirena/Monster. You cost me a ridiculous amount of money, but I would pay anything for my sanity and life back. Hasta La Vista.

More proof that he is his

"Mommy, I want lotion."

"Ok. Hold out your hand."

"Put it on my penis."

"On your penis? What for?"

"I wanna rub it."

Like father, like son.

Help me.

Twinkle, the bird

Boy "Look, there's a bird in the grass"

Me "Wow, look at that"

Boy "What's his name"

Me "I'm not sure, what do you think his name should be"

Boy "Twinkle"

Me "Twinkle, the bird. I like it"

Boy 'Twinkle Twinkle little bird, how I wonder what you are..."

Repeat. All the way to the sitter.

The cuteness...it hurts.

Decisions. Decisions.

Ya know. It's strange. That whole decision making process. In my mind I really wanted the plum patent leather tote. It was big...big enough for a mom-of-a-toddler, a great color, and well...patent leather. Just totally fun and funky.

So, I lurked around the Coach store today during my lunch. They didn't have the large tote in Plum but they had it in that awful jacquard fabric. So, I tried it on, wore it around, looked in all the different mirrors while wearing it. I DIDN'T like it, and I'll tell you why.

First, let me start with...it IS super cute, so it did have that going for it. But, the handles are hard and stiff. They were uncomfortable on my shoulder. And that was with wads of tissue paper in the bag. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be with all of my stuff, a sippy cup, some diapers and wipes, a couple trucks, etc. Horrible. AND, it has a zipper, but the zipper doesn't go from end to end. It sort of starts about 3-4 inches in, and comes completely apart (think: jacket zipper). Who in their right mind is going to take the time to actually put 2 zipper parts together in order to zip up their handbag? Certainly not this mother. And it's really huge, so keeping it open all the time just doesn't seem safe.

So, then I spotted the cutie above. They call the color "berry", but it's really sort of purple. I would call it amethest. Which, hello, is my birthstone. It's the Hamptons Large Leather Hobo. And it's really pretty. And big. And sort of simple. And a little more classy. They didn't have it in stock (it's new for August) so they are shipping it to me and I should have it on Wed.

So, here's my question for Coach. And maybe I just because mine fell apart, but, how can a larger-leather bag cost less than a smaller-jacquard-fabric (key word: fabric) bag? Weird. Very weird.

8 more things

-I like to be really cold at night. I like to have 2, 3 or even 4 blankets on. I cannot stand to be hot at night (or during the day, for that matter). I won't sleep a wink if I am hot.

-I used to consider myself sort of extroverted. I've noticed since having my son, and since I stopped drinking my life away, that I really am not extroverted at all. I'm really sort of shy, which is weird. I never would have considered myself shy.

-I am a major procrastinator when it comes to things like cleaning or doing other household chores, but I am a freak about timliness. I hate being late. Rarely do I ever just "get there when we get there"...I don't roll like that. And I freak out if other people are responsible for getting me somewhere on time. I like to be in control.

-That's another thing. I am a total control freak, especially behind the wheel. I hate my husbands driving. I feel out of control, unsafe and just totally vulnerable.

-I hate going to the grocery store. But, I won't let my husband go. When he goes, I have to make very detailed lists and it's just easier to go myself. If "rice" is written on the list, I know what kind of rice to get. I enjoy cooking, so it's weird that I don't like to shop for ingredients.

-If there is something I really want and I force myself to "wait" for it...I find that it consumes my every thought until I get it.

-I love to pull weeds and plant flowers and such, and I don't mind getting dirt under my finger nails, but generally, I hate being dirty. It seems I always have something or another on me now that I have a toddler who always has grubby hands and it drives me nuts.

-I hate when my hair blows or sticks to my face. When I'm hot and sweaty...I absolutely hate having hair on my face or neck, so it's pulled back. And I hate my hair pulled back. When it's windy out or there is AC or a fan blowing, I absolutely cannot stand my hair blowing around on my face. I will either remove myself from the source or put my hair up.

7 things

I've read a few of these during my years of lurking on others blogs, so I thought I would post one about me. Here are 7 things about me...just to get to know me a little better.

-I like my feet. I love shoes. And I love toe rings. But, I hate stepping on things on the floor in my house. I am typically barefoot at home, and it seems there is always an assortment of crap on our hardwood floors (gee, maybe I should sweep) that mainly consists of cat food and toddler crumbs. I get very irritated when I step on either. It feels gross on my feet and it makes me grumpy.

-I love to travel by land or by air. Not a big fan of the water, which is weird because I grew up at Devils and Round Lakes. You couldn't pay me (well, maybe if the price is right) to take a cruise or go to a "beach" for vacation. Besides, I don't wear bathing suits in front of people.

-I love the taste of beer. I hardly ever drink though. I hardly drink any alcohol anymore.

-Ethnic foods are my favorite...mostly Mexican and Asian. If I do dine in an American restarurant, you will rarely see me order a sandwich. I'm just not a sandwich person. But, I do love me a Corned Beef Ruben - which is weird since I don't typically like meat. Here's the weirdest part though...if it is not brought to me quickly, the bread gets soggy and I will send it back. If it's not soggy when it arrives, I will turn the sandwich over several times to avoid sogginess.

-I have a terrible habit of isolating myself from my friends and then complaining that I have no friends and nothing to do.

-I hate working for others. I often think I could and should be a personal shopper, but I think catering to people who can afford a personal shopper would be more irritating than what I currently do (babysit men).

-I don't like people who exaggerate. Tell your story truthfully. If it's boring, it's probably not worth telling. No sense in making stuff up.

Geez, I'm learning a bit about myself too. Maybe I will post more soon. As soon as I can make up some stuff. ;)

Havin a Heat Wave

Having fun despite the heat! It has been in the mid 90s every day since we arrived in NYC.

Central Park. An absolute lifesaver when you need to entertain a very busy little boy! Every day " I want to go to Central Park Mommy and Daddy". "Come on, let's go to Central Park".

Victorian Gardens, near the south center entrance...an amusement park made especially for the smaller crowd. He couldn't get enough.

A 2 hour respite from the heat at FAO Schwarz included playing on the big piano and "vrooming" some cute cars with a nice boy we met.

More fun to come!

It's Huge. It's Plum. It's Mine.

Well, what I do know is that I love this bag. It's HUGE. And it's PLUM PATENT LEATHER. I saw the smaller version at the Coach store over the weekend. They didn't have the large one. But, I think this is the one that I want.

I also know that I will never, not ever ever ever, purchase another "jacquard fabric" coach bag ever again. It's leather. Or nothing. And you all know how I feel about having nothing.

I am waiting for my "credit" to arrive so I can run out and get this bag! What fun.

Ok, so I checked the weather report for NYC this week. We leave tomorrow, after all. It's supposed to be in the 90s (and 94 on Friday) the entire time we are there. I say...WTF? Why the hell is it going to be in the 90s (add 10 degrees in Gotham because of the concrete jungle) while my family is there? ACK. Of all the things I hate in this world. Heat is #1. Followed by putting my hair in a ponytail. U-G-L-Y. Ok, well, there are probably other things I hate more than my hair in a ponytail, but you get my drift. I'm gonna be a sweaty pony tail sporting tourist...and I hate that.

The boy likes to go go go and he likes to be outside outside outside. I'm afraid I am going to DIE while we are in Gotham.

Maybe I'll sweat off some lbs.

Roller coasters

What a roller coaster the past couple days have been. After my husband got punched in the face by one of his mechanics a few weeks ago (my husband is the boss - this guy got fired - after 35 years), we were hopeful that he would get to move into the Parts Room Manager position. A position that has been open since early this year when the Manager retired. It's a lateral move, but it wasn't about the money anyway, it was about the hours. 7am to 5pm Monday thru Friday. Something we have never had in our lives. He has worked jacked up swing shifts since he started working there 8 years ago. This new position was going to be the answer.

We found out Thursday night (when he went in for his 12 hour night shift 7pm-7am) that they gave the position to one of the other Supervisors. A guy who has less seniority and generally complains about everything and is very lazy. My husband is a very hard worker and typically only complains about work outside of work. Here's the thing though...he's not an ass kisser. And the other guy...well, yeah, he's a dick sucker ass kisser. He and the boss are big golfing buddies. I told my husband it was politics and if he just played the game he would find himself in that position instead of that other yahoo.

So, we are pounding the pavement looking for a new job. I don't think either of us can handle this schedule any more. It's a drain on our little family and it's a drain on our relationship. If you know of any jobs out there that would be perfect for my husband please pass them along.

To make matters worse...the boy woke up this morning all raspy and coughing. He was whiney all day. He only napped for 45 minutes (this is usually when I DO things ie: play online, do laundry, clean, etc). Yeah. I didn't get anything accomplished.

There was a little good that happened this weekend. I picked up my new and improved necklace. Actually it's a totally different necklace. Super cool with a huge swarovsky crystal. It's crazy and I like it! Check check checkitout.

And there was a message on my answering machine from Coach. They couldn't repair my bag. So, they are actually sending me a credit for $403.92!!! Refer to my Conversation with Amanada http://m2z2006.blogspot.com/2008/06/conversation-with-amanda.html to see why this is such good and amazing news. OMG OMG OMG. What am I going to get now? WOW!

The necklace

So, how do we feel about the necklace? I like it. Yes. It's lovely. I love the cobalt blue faceted glass circles.

Do I love it? I'm not sure.

There's something I'm not sure about. But I'm not sure what it is.

Hmpf. What to do?

Nekked in the 'hood

As I sit here with Garnier #401 soaking up the gray on my head, I'm reminiscing about our weekend. The weather was decent-ish and the boy was pretty decent-ish too. I did spend a lot of time alone (w/the boy), which is very old, lonely, and frustrating but it wasn't terrible. We spent a lot of time outside. The usual...in the pool, in the sandbox, and walking the 'hood. On Friday he got a hold of the hose and spent a good part of the afternoon tormenting Daddy and I with it. I was soaked. And I didn't care. I didn't have anywhere to go, noone to see, no reason to get all wigged out about getting all wet and sloppy. He did love when we got the hose away and sprayed him too...but he loved to be in control of it. There was a lot of "Come on Mommy, wanna get wet" and "Come here Mommy". It was fun. I wonder, though, how I ended up with a control freak for a child.

On Saturday, he wanted to play in the pool...in his birthday suit. I had cleaned out an empty mustard bottle for use in his play kitchen, but it made it's way outside and into the pool. He had great fun throwing mustard bottles of water on me as you can tell from the photo. I got him a couple times too.

Grandma and Grandpa arrived for a visit early Saturday afternoon to see their grandson playing outside in his birthday suit. They were a little shocked, but thought it was hilarious, nonetheless. He came running down the driveway to greet them...and then wanted to play in the front yard, sidewalk, etc...with his junk front and center. My son...the nudist. Grandma, the boy and I went to TJ Maxx for a couple Ralph Lauren Polo shirts (because honestly, where else can you get them for $10?) and then to the dollar store for some buck toys...including a new watch! Good times, good times.

Sunday was much of the same, only the boy spotted 3 little boys walking on the sidewalk (or rather, they spotted him and stopped), so we walked over to say hi. The boy was chatting them up, getting all their details. Twin boys who will be 3 in September and another boy who will be 4 in August. They were very shy and barely said a word, but when we invited them up to check out the sandbox they were all over it. They played for a few minutes while their Uncle and I chatted. The twins would ask things like "that?" as they held up a random toy. The uncle, boy or I would tell them what that was. They knew some words and talked a bit, but it was very hard to understand and they were very soft spoken. Meanwhile my child is instructing them what to do, how to do it and why they should do it - in full sentences.

Control freak and bossy? How did that happen? :)

salmonellosis

1. sudden severe diarrhea. check.

2. fever and chills. check.

3. vomiting. check.

4. abdominal cramps. check.

5. prostration (physical exhaustion). check.

Thankfully 1-4 only lasted 24 hours-ish. #5 lasted 2 days. I think it's over.

Damn you bacteria.