Are you wearing Pants?

My son would like to know.

Last night, my son was having a conversation, through our bay window, with our next door neighbor. When he first saw Harry, he said to me "Harry's keeping cold". I looked out the window to see Harry wearing a jacket. (It was a bit chilly) I said "No, Harry is keeping warm in his jacket".

He then stated that Harry was wearing pants. I said "yes, Harry is wearing pants".

My son hollers out the window "Harry, are you wearing pants?".

Harry replies, "Yes, Zane, I am wearing pants".

Our toddler-lovin, easy-going, pants-wearing neighbor. What a great guy.

8 days

8 days since my last blog entry. What's going on, you ask?

Bad first: A good friend lost her father on Friday. 2 days before Father's day. He had been sick but the family and Dr's were hopeful and then he just got too sick and lost the fight. I am so very sad for her and her family. I think about my friends - my close friends - who have lost a parent in the past several years and there are a lot of them. Most of my friends aren't even 40 years old yet - or just barely over 40 - we're too damn young to lose our parents. TOO DAMN YOUNG!

So, father's day got me thinking. My dad is 73 years old. He's had some health problems over the years, a double bypass, hip replacement and a few other less severe things. I am very thankful that he is here. I am thankful that I see him often. I am thankful that while we are a completely dysfunctional family that we are close and we know - even though it is rarely said - how much we love one another. I often have a real negative attitude when it comes to my family - and I know it is due mostly in part to the fact that my brother and I do not get along. Now, when I say that we don't get along, I mean that when we are in the same room together - it as if we don't even see one another. That type of dysfunction can make a person pretty grumpy.

I have a great life. I have a great marriage. I have a great family. It's time to turn that grumpiness into positiveness. I am hoping that the more I talk about it, the better it will be. I have an appointment with the OBGYN on Friday to get "The Monster" (Mirena) removed, which I can only assume has contributed to this negative attitude. I am hoping there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

And now the good: My neighbor's house is for sale. My son wanted to go for a walk. Actually, he wanted to pull our cooler down the sidewalk. So, the neighbors house is being shown to perspective buyers as we walk by. My 2 year old is hauling a full size wheeled cooler behind him. He stops, waves and exclaims "Hi People!" One of the ladies gasps, hand over her mouth. "OMG. He's so cute". Zane says "what's your name?". "My name is Mary" she says. "I'm Zane" he points to his chest. He points to me "Who's that?". Mary says...."Is that your mommy?". "Yes. That's mommy". "Mommy, say hi to the people". "Hi" I say. Embarrassed, because my child is social and I am not. Mary, still standing there in awe..."How old is he". "I'm 2" says Zane. I tell Zane we should keep walking and let the people get back to what they were doing. "Ok. Bye Everybody" he says. They all exclaim "Bye Zane". Zane looks at me "say bye to the people mommy". Mommy, tail between legs "Bye."

My child. The social butterfly. He gets this from his Grandmother. If there would have been some beer in that cooler maybe I would be more social too.

Inappropriate Obsession

You do realize that I am inapropriately obsessed with Robert Downey, Jr. now, don't you? I have always been a fan...but with all of the substance abuse problems and all...he just didn't look good for quite some time. Recent movie roles have not been anything that have made me rush to the theatre to see. I have heard that "kiss kiss bang bang" was good...or at least that he was good in his role.

Enter IronMan...

I've never really been a big Marvel Comic person. I mean, I like superhero's and all, and I know I will get to like them better now that I have a child - a BOY! But, I've never really rushed to the theatre to see a "Superhero" movie. Ok...unless you count George Clooney as Batman. So, when I heard RDJr was playing a superhero...I was intrigued. Very intrigued.

A lot of people were very skeptical about RDJr playing a superhero. Since I was incredibly intrigued by the idea...I really wanted to see how this was going to play out. He is such a gifted actor...I was very hopeful that he could do it. He could play a superhero. The unlikely character that he is.

I agree with the NYT review of the movie. "The gadgetry is absolutely dazzling, the action is mostly exhilarating, the comedy is scintillating and the whole enormous enterprise, spawned by Marvel comics, throbs with dramatic energy because the man inside the shiny red robotic rig is a daring choice for an action hero, and an inspired one...hugely entertaining movie, and nothing can detract from Robert Downey's triple triumph -- half man, half robot, all star."

He was incredible. I loved everything about this movie. It was dazzling. It was exhilirating. It was hilarious. RDJr was a brilliant egomaniacal humanitarian superhero. And I LOVE HIM.

Ok, and the best part. Aside from his ridiculous good looks and HOT BOD. Oh, um, that is the best part. YUM.YUM.YUM.

Watch out Johnny D...RDJr is vying for that special place in my loins where you have resided for many many years.

I used to love you. But now I hate you.

Dear Mirena,

I loved you. I really and truly did. You seemed to be my savior. With you I no longer had to worry about accidentally getting pregnant - because I do not want another child. I love the one I have (VERY MUCH) and do not have any more love (aka: time, energy, patience) to give. I loved you for this protection.

You seemed to make my monthly womanly intruder subside. I loved you for this. I truly did.

So, it will be a year ago in August that we began our relationship, and 2 to 2 1/2 months ago, my feelings started changing.

At first, it wasn't my feelings for you. It was my feelings - in general. You make me cry. You make me yell. You make me so mad over truly insignificant things that I thought I was going crazy. You make me cramp. You make me bleed. You make my head hurt. Every day. You make me dizzy. You make me feel sluggish and extremely tired despite sleeping at least 9 hours per night. You make my belly bloat. You made me lose my desire for sex. You make my vision blurry. I even lost 90% of my sight one day...for 3 hours. I was scared to death. You make me feel like I am starving. You make me fat. There is more...but I will spare my readers (all 2 of them).

I didn't think YOU were the cause of all of these things. I thought it was motherhood. I thought it was my job. I thought it was who-knows-what. I never considered YOU could be the root of so much evil.

Then I googled your side effects. (Mind you...your website says side effects are rare, minor and go away after 3 months) I read hundreds of other women's stories about you. They call you "The Monster". Many women didn't have problems with you until 1, 2, or even 3 years into your relationship. Not all women hate you, but there is a great deal of them who do. The stories are like a trainwreck...I just can't stop looking at them. I learned that MANY women who have a relationship with you find it impossible to lose weight despite eating a very healthy diet and getting regular exercise. Some have even gained. But most just can't seem to make the scale move.

This resonated with me. I have been strict with my diet since the beginning of the year, and even more strict since March. I don't snack at night. I eat an absurd amount of fruits and vegetables. I keep my portion sizes in check. I rarely drink alcohol. I rarely eat out. And I try and exercise at least 3 days per week. I have a toddler with an endless supply of energy, so even if I don't go to the gym, I am 100 times more active than I used to be. But, the scale won't budge. People I work with, who started "dieting" in the fall and winter are shrinking around me. Eating things like foot long subs, taco bell and ramen noodles. I can only dream of eating those things.

So there you have it. I hate you. I want you to be removed from my body. I'm a little torn though. I did pay $500 for you. But I need to remind myself that my happiness and well being (not to mention my family's happiness and well being) are much more important than the money I threw away on you.

Hostilely yours,

m2z

It's in the jeans

Jeans. They're essential, right? I love jeans. Pre-Boy I used to wear Gap jeans. They were my favorite fit. The "longs" were the perfect length. They were my go-to jeans. I also loved my Christopher Blue jeans. They were expensive. And I loved them. There was one thing...one nagging little thing that I didn't like about all my jeans though. The butt gap. You know what I'm talking about. Because jeans are cut so low now, and it took manufacturers much longer than necessary to figure out that the back of the jean could not be as low as the front of the jean, when you bend over...um, your bum shows.

This butt gap may not be an issue for every woman out there, but certainly on my 6' frame, it's an issue. It was an issue on my pre-baby frame, and it's an even bigger issue on my post-baby-more-junk-in-the-trunk frame.

Now, I'm not saying I want to wear "mom jeans"...but some bum coverage is essential.

I recently found a pair of Levi's Curvy Fit. They are "contoured"...which means the waist band in back is higher than the front. What a concept. I love these jeans. (I bought them, of course). Then I happened upon a pair of Lee denim capris. I'm not a big fan of Lee jeans...I guess because I've always thought of them as cheap, and "workwear". But, I guess when you think about it, Blue Jeans were originially intended for factory workers.

Well, I saw the tag and it said "comfort waistband". Ok. Clearly, I'm getting old. I was drawn to a comfort waistband. Nonetheless, I grabbed a pair and tried them on. Guess what. They ARE COMFORTABLE. And they do not gap. AND, bonus points, you can't tell they have a "comfort waistband" from the outside. It's just a band of elastic around the inside of the waistband that simply lets the jeans move with you instead of against you. (IE: butt gap)

And, yes, they were cheap. Motherhood is changing me.

Product Testimonials

Ok, so why not give props? I'm a shop-a-holic. I admit that. 2 recent purchases have left me full of excitement....so much that I must boast about them.

Product #1: FitFlops! (http://www.thefitflop.com/) I cannot say enough about how much I love these shoes! I am a shoe addict. But, I honestly have no interest in wearing any other shoe. These shoes are supposed to give you a workout with every step, due to something called a "microwobbleboard technology". I read tons of reviews before purchasing (they are nearly $50 per pair - yes, for flip flops) and was very excited to see that people were not only getting a workout, but also stated that they no longer felt certain pains in their joints.

I played softball in my early and mid 20s. I was catcher. Sometime during my softball days I hurt my back. I've had pretty consistent lower back pain since. I've been to chiropractors, massage therapists, etc. And while the pain is managable, it is still very much there. I also have a 30 lb kid who likes to be carried and/or picked up 50 times per day which does nothing for back pain. So, mid 20s...let's just say I've had lower back pain for about 15 years.

8 years ago, I twisted my ankle chasing one of our cats around our apartment (he likes to be chased). My ankle never healed properly and has always been sore and swollen. For 8 years.

Enter FitFlops. I got them last Friday. I immediately put them on. The first thing I notice is how wonderfully comfortable they are. There's a little tightness on the right foot strap, but I know this will stretch out. At the end of the day...I was wondering why my butt and thigh muscles were sore. Duh. FitFlops.

On the second day, I notice that my butt, thighs and calves are sore (not painful, just sore muscles as if I had been to the gym recently).

3rd day...I notice that my back doesn't hurt. WHAT? Are you serious?

Yes.

My.Back.Does.Not.Hurt.

And then it dawns on me that my ANKLE doesn't hurt either. Coincidence? Who knows. Just in my head? Perhaps. But, I look at my ankle and guess what. Not swollen either. No pain. No swelling. What is going on here?

I also notice that when I do not have these FitFlops on at home in the evening...that my ankle hurts, it swells up, and my back hurts. Hmmm.

I LOVE FITFLOPS! Thank you BH&G magazine for featuring them.

Product #2 (&3): Make Up For Ever Mat Velvet +. (http://www.makeupforever.com/) Shine controlling, oil free, water resistent, complete coverage liquid foundation.

and Make Up For Ever High Definition Microfinish Powder. 100% mineral silica powder.

Not only does this stuff stay on, but it seems to conceal my imperfections (aka acne and wrinkles) better than anything I have ever tried. Evah.

Oh...and my face. It feels like SILK.

So, thank you pretty little girl at Sephora with the cute bob (much cuter than Katie Cruise's) who looked 19 but said she was 28, for recommending Make Up For Ever to a much older blemished make-up counter dummy.

I am happy...from head to toe!

2 hours each way

Cousin Steven's graduation party was today. 2 hours each way...with a 2 year old. Was it worth it?

This happened in the first 5 minutes.20 minutes later, this happened.

And then...balloons!