Throat Slitting

I was out of my mind with anxiety over the thought of having this cervical surgery.  Out of my friggin mind.  Out.Of.My.Mind.  Did you get that?

OUT.OF.MY.MIND.

On Tuesday, I met with an Orthopedic Surgeon at UT Medical Center.  After talking to his assistant (a cute-ish Dr in training), he and the Ortho reviewed my MRI.  They both came back in and did a couple strength tests, and then the Ortho said this (kinda sorta verbatim):

You do have a ruptured disc, but since you've only been feeling this way for a few weeks, I do not think surgery is the right thing to do at this time.  Lets start with some medication and physical therapy.  We'll do that for about 4 weeks.  If that doesn't work, we will schedule a steroid injection.  And if that doesn't work, then maybe we will talk about surgery.  BUT, I think you will find much relief from the medication and physical therapy and won't even need to get the shots.

WHA?

Then he said this:  I am very surprised that the Neurosurgeon you saw said your only option was surgery.  That is not at all how we feel about your condition, and we feel other options should be explored/exhausted before we consider surgery.  

WHA?

So, my PT starts next week and I am taking Methylprednisolone (a 6 day pack) and Neurontin.  I'm thankful that the Methylprednisolone is only for 6 days as there is the chance of weight gain.  That't the last thing in the world that I need.  The Neurontin could cause all sorts of weird mood issues like "frank psychotic manifestations"...whatever the heck that means  But, it could also cause euphoria.  So far...euphoria is the only side effect I have had.  And I rather like it.

My arm is a leetle bit sore, my index finger is still numb and I occassionally have muscle twitches, but the terrible pain and feeling that my arm is going to fall of, or rather is being PULLED off has gone away.  I am giddy and giggly and feel good.  It's very weird.  Sort of...er, euphoric.

I'm diggin it.

And lastly, my son named his stuffed dog "Rudy Kazootie"....where does this random weirdness come from.  

Lemony Snicket's Got Nothin On Me

I've been absent.  I know.  I'm sortof just trying to keep my head above water right now.

On Friday, April 3rd, sitting at my desk at work...not really doing much of anything, my left arm started feeling tingly, heavy, painful, twitchy and my index finger and middle finger went numb.  I shook it off to just weird "me" and enjoyed the weekend.  Monday morning I still felt weird, so I got in to see my massage therapist right away.  After an hour long massage...I felt the same.  No relief whatsoever.

I made an appointment with a General Practioner.  I have been terrible about having regular checkups with a doctor and was long overdue for a visit.  Part of the problem was that I needed to find a new one, which seemed like a miserable daunting task.  Since it was an emergency, I asked around and found a Doctor who was recommended and also a preferred provider on my insurance.  

10 days after the initial incident and 10 days of eating Motrin & Advil like candy, I saw the doctor.  First off...I love the Doctor.  Her bedside manner was great, she was a new mom and was actually carrying her baby in a sling (oh, and the nurse was cool...tattooed, and her daughter works at the tattoo shop I go to)...anyway, she ordered bloodwork and an MRI.  

I have the blood drawn on the 14th, the MRI on the 15th.  The Dr's office calls on the 16th to tell me I have a protruding disc in my neck and they want me to see a Neurosurgeon.  I ask if they can tell me what to take, or prescribe something, for pain because Motrin and Advil are doing nothing.  She gives me a prescription for Ultram.  

I see the Neuro on April 20th, and after a couple strength tests, and before reviewing my MRI he tells me exactly what is wrong.  A ruptured/herniated disc at C6/7.  He puts the MRI up and confirms that it is indeed a ruptured/herniated disc and it is actually pressing on my spinal cord.  Hence the arm issues.  I also have a ruptured/herniated disc at C5/6, but not as bad.  

His recommendation?  Anterior Cervical Microdisectomy/Fusion...which consists of an incision in the FRONT OF MY NECK, navigating thru my neck tissue, carotid artery, voice box, trachea, and esophagus to get to my spine where the ruptured discs are removed and replaced.  

Recovery period is 2-8 weeks!  I wouldn't be able to lift more than 10 lbs for 3 weeks and 20 after 4 weeks, which will make life with a 3 year old very difficult.  

I am SOBBING when I leave the Neuro's office.  There HAS TO be another option.

I decide I should get a second opinion and after talking to a friend, have made an appointment with an Orthopedic Surgeon.  My appointment is tomorrow.  

I have no idea what I will do if his only recommendation is to CUT.  I realize they are surgeons, but it sure seems like some sort of therapy or other method of recovery/pain management would have to be exhausted before jumping into CUTTING MY NECK OPEN!

And...on top of all of this nonsense, my employer announced their merger last week.  The merger is a good move for the company and I have very positive thoughts and feelings about this merger, but there's still a bit of me that is scared.  I've been down this road before.  

And, And...my husband's severance has run out.  We are now living in reality.

And lastly...our 1 and only credit card company (Bank of Fucking America In The Ass) sent a notice that our 6.99% FIXED rate is being changed to a VARIABLE rate...currently 25.65%!!!  We have a modest balance, pay on time (automatic payments), pay the minimum, etc.  We have never ever done anything wrong.  WHY?  WHY?  WHY?  Mother fuckers.

Must.Remain.Positive.

I love this little boy...that's positive.  

 

four-oh

My love is 40 today.  FORTY!  

And still as hot as hell.  

WOW!

So sweet

How did my baby get so big?   I am in denial that he is going to be 3 years old next month.  The "almost three" has been a bit of a challenge, but he still brings me so much joy.

I know I boast about his vocabulary and brilliance frequently, but this kid is really and truly amazing.  No matter where we are, another parent asks how old he is and seems to be amazed when he tells them how old he is.  He's very sweet and very polite.  

I really only have one other child to compare him to, and that's a little boy at the sitter who turned 3 in February.  He talks very little, is very shy, is very short and just overall tiny.  Zane and this boy seem miles apart in their development.  

I'm so proud and so much in love with this kid.