12.07.2011

Thank the heavens above

You've been wondering where I have been, haven't you?  Take a peek below and try to figure it out for yourself.

Of all years, seems this is one I wish to forget much of.  It certainly wasn't ALL bad, but there was enough bad stuff to last a lifetime.  Here is a recap so you can enjoy what life was like for my family...in no certain order, because I don't have the mental capacity to relive this year in order:

The boy turned 5 and had his first "kid" party at Hero's.  It was really fun.
I turned 41 and the husband turned 42.
I got a 3% raise.
Our house was broken into and $9,000 worth of items were stolen or damaged.
We celebrated our 12th wedded anniversary.
The boy graduated from Pre-K.
I haven't had the energy or drive to exercise all year.
I have had awful Fibromyalgia flare ups. 
Some days, it is a struggle to move.
The boy sliced his finger open with his dad's knife.
His dad passed out on the floor when he saw the blood.
I got a new tooth, my gums trimmed and my teeth whitened.
The husband had severe pain in his feet, ankles and knees and could hardly walk for a week.  Possible Rheumatoid Arthritis.
Unemployment benefits dried up.
We lived on my salary alone for 3 months.
We were poor.
My car windshield is still cracked and I still don't care.
I painted the foyer (up the stairs, down the stairs), living room and dining room.
The boy started Kindergarten.
His behavior is awful and although he is academically advanced, he has behavioral issues.
The boy sits at a single desk away from the rest of his classmates who sit at tables of 6 because he cannot sit still, cannot respect others space and is distracting.
The boy had scarlet fever.
Grandma died.
Our house was broken into, again, and $8,700 worth of items stolen or damaged.
The husband beat the hell out of some guy in a convertible for stopping in the road and flipping him the bird.
The boy was in the truck and witnessed this attack.
I wrote a letter to Mayor Bell about our break-ins and got a call within a week.
The summer was hot and miserable and made me sick(er).
The husband had stomach pains so bad we called 911.  Turns out he had a perforated doudenal ulcer (a hole in his intestines) and needed emergency surgery.
This was life or death surgery.  LIFE.OR.DEATH.
He was in the hospital for 6 days.
Uncle and 2 cousins died.
The husband got a job.
The husband lost a job because the owner was a disorganized idiot.
The husband got another job.
The husband quit the job because at the end of his probation, it didn't look like they were going to have much work for him so he went elsewhere.
The husband took a job - making peanuts - because peanuts were better than nothing.
Lost 3 high school friends, 2 took their own lives.
The boy had a staph infection that the Dr worried was in his bones it was so bad.  Thankfully was not, but he had an allergic reaction to the meds and broke out in an awful rash over his entire body.
I became an Independent Stylist for Jewel Kade and have been able to make a few large purchases and have a decent christmas.
Lost a good friend and neighbor.
The husband had cellulitis on a cut on his arm.  It had to be sliced open, drained and packed.  He was off work for 4 days. unpaid, on double antibiotics and pain meds. 
We got a dog.
I love the dog, but he sheds.  A lot!
I drove myself to the emergency room because my back hurt so bad I was not able to move for 2 days. 
Grandpa died.
I had a sinus infection for 8 1/2 weeks.
And there are a couple things I can't even talk about.  They're THAT bad.

And, the icing on the cake...

I lost my job on December 16th.

Two Thousand Eleven can BITE ME.

5.17.2011

1,825 days, 43,800 hours, 2,628,000 minutes

How is it possible that you are 2 million, six hundred twenty eight thousand minutes old?

How did this happen so quickly?

My baby who had screaming fits every night at 7pm between 5 and 8 weeks old. My baby who slept through the night (10-12 hours at a stretch) at 12 weeks old and never looked back. My baby who used to squeal and kick his feet when he was so happy, whose squeal sounded like a pteradactyl and I couldn't get enough of it. My baby who always ate like a champ unless he wasn't feeling well. My baby who's first words "nana (banana), cuh (Booka - one of our cats) and more" were spoken at 8 months old.

You grew up so quickly. From walking, to really talking (and never stopping), to learning to feed yourself (and never stopping) to skipping and hopping, to writing and reading (some), to learning basic math.

Every time I see you my face lights up. You are the light of my life. The photos in my office at work make me smile each and every time I look at them. Writing this blog post is making me grin from ear to ear, because I am thinking and talking about you.

You tell knock knock jokes that usually make absolutely no sense, yet I love every one of them and laugh hysterically each time.

You insist on sitting on my lap on the couch at cartoon time before bed. I tease that you need to find another place to sit and that I am not a chair...but I love every minute of it. You fit perfectly. It's like you were born to be there.

I lay in bed with you at night, after books and lights out, for about 20-30 minutes and we make up stories while I rub your sore legs (growing pains are real, who knew). There's almost always a car or truck in the stories. It could start with a turtle or a stuffed animal or planet and will end with a fire truck, police car, or dump truck. I don't think you will ever stop loving cars and trucks.

You are full of endless amounts of energy. At the park/zoo/imagination station, we play for hours. You love to help around the house and are first in line to use the swiffer, vacuum cleaner, or dust wipes. You LOVE to clean the toilet!

You love to ride your bike but say you never ever want to take your training wheels off. But, guess what, we're going to try it without them this summer! You are really getting into basketball and playing catch with a baseball. Mommy could care less about sports or sports teams, and especially watching any sport on tv, but played basketball, softball and volleyball and can show him a few of the ropes.

You love love love rough-housing with daddy. Daddy often takes you to the "swamp" with your Jeep. You like to drive the trails and get out and explore in the woods. You always tell me about all of the frogs and toads you see. You love to help daddy build things or use tools. You also love riding on his shoulders. You love when daddy is in charge of feeding you lunch or dinner because you get to eat junk.

You tell me that you want to marry me, that I am your best friend and that you want to live with me forever. You also tell me that I am the best Mommy in the whole wide world. I get so many hugs and kisses in a day, it's hard to count. But I could always use more. Each one makes my heart smile. You know how much I love your kisses and you sometimes you use them as deal makers. "Mommy, if we can do {insert activity here} or if I can have {insert food or new toy here}, I will give you a kiss".

You are still a milk-a-holic. At home you've never had juice, pop, etc. At school you get juice or fruit punch once a week. And you've had lemonade and love it. On special occassions I let you have chocolate milk. You eat darn near anything. I nearly threw up a few weeks ago when you couldn't get enough mussels. You and your dad were going to town on them and I was horrified and proud at the same time. I would say shrimp is one of your absolute favorite things. You love junk but you also love fruits and vegetables, so I guess it's pretty balanced. You love eggs, meat, chicken, fish, and most seafood. You are not a big fan of pork and your love of cheese comes and goes.

You remember everything, yet you often forget to slow down and remember the rules. You get in trouble frequently at school for not listening, not paying attention, not keeping your hands to yourself. We go through phases where you will earn a "green" every day for weeks on end, and then you'll get three "reds" in a row. When I ask you what would have been a better way to handle whatever you got in trouble for, you give me the right answers, so I know you know...you just don't stop and think. It's a guy thing.

You want to be a "Monster Truck Fire fighter Policeman" and a "worker" (construction/building) when you grow up. If there's anyone in the world who can be a Monster Truck Fire fighter Policeman - it's you.

I could talk about you for days. But instead I'm just going to end with a great big HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY to my handsome young man. I love you more than words.

5.12.2011

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day - My Story

Sometime in 2008, my back started hurting more than usual. The disk between L4 and L5 is nearly gone and I’ve had constant pain there for more than 15 years. The pain I was feeling was worse than they typical pain I had felt for so long, and it had spread though out most of my back. My shoulders and neck were also in pain. I figured the pain was due to my, then 2 year old, son getting bigger and heavier. I just figured the strain of bending over and picking him up was taking its toll. I was 38 years old, so I thought maybe this was part of getting older too.

So, I made a very difficult decision. I stopped picking my son up. It was so hard! He didn’t understand and neither did I, but I felt “broken” and was afraid I would drop him or hurt myself more. I told him that he could sit on my lap any time, but that I could not pick him up, unless absolutely necessary – like to put him in a shopping cart, or if he fell asleep in the car and I had to carry him in to the house.

For TWO YEARS I rarely picked my son up, but the pain never got better. I saw a Chiropractor. She made the pain worse. I saw a Massage Therapist. She made me feel better while I was on her table, but the pain would come back quick upon leaving. I went to a pain doctor and had steroid injections in my back. They helped my lower back for a short time, but the pain elsewhere NEVER WENT AWAY.

I often felt paralyzed with stiffness after sitting on the couch or a chair for long. I struggled to get up. And when I did get up, it took a lot of effort. I used to do what I called “the crawl”. I would scoot to the edge of the couch, use every muscle in my legs and arms to push myself up, and then (because I was bent over) would use my hands and walk/crawl them up my thighs, pushing myself upright until I was standing straight. I would have to stand upright and still for a few seconds before being able to walk.

I had to do “the crawl” every morning to get out of bed. It was a miserable experience.

If I got on the floor to play with my son, or for whatever reason, getting up was nearly impossible without crawling over to a couch/table to pull or push myself up.

I had frequent headaches. I was exhausted all the time. I had the most embarrassing GI issues: bloating, diarrhea, gas that hurt so bad I would cry. Literally cry. I had PMS that caused so much additional pain that I could hardly walk at times. I felt menstrual cramps under my ribs. I had pain in my nether regions. My eyesight would randomly get worse at times, with my glasses or contacts on. I actually could NOT SEE for nearly 2 hours one day. My hands and feet went numb frequently, and every morning when I woke up both of my hands were numb. I was often dizzy upon standing. I had trouble taking a full breath. I had occasional stabbing in my chest. My muscles would twitch randomly. My moods swung like a pendulum.

I often sobbed silently at night because I couldn’t get comfortable. My bed hurt. The blankets hurt. BLANKETS HURT.

I became so used to living with all of these issues, I had convinced myself it was normal. Just part of being “me”. I talked to my best friend about these issues and she would tell me that normal people don’t feel like that. She never had pain. I couldn’t believe there were people out there who had pain free days. Clearly she was not being truthful.

One day in 2010, while sitting on the couch, my son came over to sit on my lap to watch cartoons. His bony little knee hit my thigh and the pain sent me through the roof. I screamed. I screamed in pain and I screamed at him. I couldn’t figure out what was going on, I didn’t understand why that hurt so badly. He cried because I screamed at him. It happened again a few days later. And then again, and again. Around this same time, I noticed that when I scratched an itch…my skin hurt. My SKIN HURT.

A few months later, my right foot arch started hurting. I thought maybe I had injured it without realizing. Then I realized that I didn’t do anything to injure it. It hurt so bad I was limping. I limped for 2 ½ months.

I knew I needed to discuss these issues with my Dr. I knew these things weren’t normal. I was terrified. I thought I was dying. I didn’t want to know what was wrong. I FELT CRAZY.

During these 2 years, I kept a journal of the pain. I made a summary of these entries and then I made a Dr. appointment. When my appointment finally rolled around, I was out of my mind with fear. I thought she would tell me I was crazy. I thought she would tell me I was dying. I thought she would not understand.

I made the appointment because I had “foot pain”. While discussing the foot pain with my Dr, I started crying. No. Sobbing. She asked if the pain was that bad. I said no. I tried to tell her about the other pain. But I couldn’t talk. She sat with me. I was able to tell her that I had a list of some other things that were bothering me. She told me to relax and she would just read through the list.

She asked a few questions. I calmed down. She walked over and started pressing on various parts of my body and asking me if it hurt. Well, yes, most of the places she pressed had hurt. At that point I didn’t realize she was pressure point testing for Fibromyalgia.

She stepped back and said “Have you ever hear of Fibromyalgia”? I said, yes. She told me I exhibited many of the symptoms and I had pain in nearly all of the pressure points.

She ordered a full blood panel to rule out other conditions, and gave me a 3 week supply of Cymbalta.

I took a pill as soon as I walked out the door. I swear I felt better almost instantly. It was likely because the fear I had been carrying around for so long had finally been lifted. I wasn’t crazy after all. I wasn’t dying. And I had been diagnosed with something real. And my Dr understood, and was sympathetic.

I WASN'T CRAZY.

I WASN'T DYING.

MY DOCTOR UNDERSTOOD.

I’ve been taking Cymbalta for 8 months now. The only 'every day" pain I have is some mild lower back discomfort. The L4/L5 disc is gone, so the only way to ever have a pain free lower back is to have surgery.

My GI issues are gone! My periods come and go with little notice! I’m pretty even tempered! I’m happy! I feel good!

I pick my, now nearly 5 year old, son up and dance around the room with him! He’s heavy, but it doesn’t hurt. I can sit on the floor and play with him and then get up off the floor like a normal person would.

I did lose a lot of strength over those 2 years. Sometimes I find it unbelievable how much better I feel. I didn’t feel good for over 2 years. I didn’t think I would ever be able to say that I feel GOOD.

Family and friends have been supportive and many have said they had no idea I was suffering. I did keep it to myself for the most part. My husband knew. My best friend knew. My parents knew some of the details but not all because I didn’t want them to worry.

The only side effects I have experienced with Cymbalta are sleepiness, wild dreams and *boo* weight gain. I sleep like a log at night, am able to stay awake all day, so the sleepiness is not a bad side effect. The dreams have been disturbing at times, some would call them nightmares, but the new ME outweighs the dreams. Speaking of outweighing...my weight is out of control. I keep trying to control it, but the sleepiness leads to a lack of motivation, and I am allowing this to interfere with my efforts. I will find something that works and I will lose this weight.

I knows other sufferers have weather related pain, and I too have had a few episodes that seem to be weather related.

Our weather in Ohio has been very weird since March, and I distinctly remember my first weather related episode. March 11th at approximately 9:20am; our front desk clerk asked me to watch the front desk so she could make breakfast. As I was sitting up there, my calf (front/outer side) started hurting. No. Not hurting…STABBING. I started rubbing my leg, and the pressure from rubbing hurt like hell. She returned to the front desk and I hobbled back into my office, where I sat in so much stabbing pain I was near tears for another 15 minutes (20 all together). I continued to rub my leg. I stretched my leg. I flexed my muscles. I stood up and walked around. It HURT LIKE HELL. I was sweating and breathing heavily by the time the pain diminished.

This pain came from nowhere. Out of the blue. And hit me like a ton of bricks. It wasn’t until I read a tweet from another Spoonie who was experiencing a lot of pain that day. From the weather. I had never noticed pain as a direct result of the weather.

Is that what I experienced on March 11th? I have no idea. But it was hell. Pure hell.

I’m terrified to ever stop taking Cymbalta. For me, it has been a miracle. I have my life back. I have ME back. A larger version of me. But a relatively pain free, happier me.

5.06.2011

Smile!

I got my new front tooth on April 11th.

Dr. Hottie removed my old crown and placed a temporary crown on for about 3 weeks while the final product was being made. He trimmed my gums to make my smile less gummy. He was originally going to only trim the gum above my old crown since it clearly didn't match up with the gum on the other side. While he was doing this, he said "how about I just trim the gums around your front 6 teeth and we'll make that smile less gummy". With all of the dental tools in my mouth, I said "mmm hmmm".

Healing the gums took only a couple days and hurt very little. The difference is pretty fantastic. I'm not embarrassed of my smile any more.




I don't "love" the new crown, it's still a bit big and definitely looks like a crown, but the shape and size are so much better. Down the road I plan to have a veneer put over the other front tooth to make them look the same, and I would also like to have invisalign to straighten up that one little crooked tooth and space my teeth out a little better. I also think I need to have the bottom gums trimmed.

All in all...so pleased. And Dr. Hottie is, well, hot. Can't beat that.

4.22.2011

Dear Mayor Bell

April 14, 2011

Mayor Mike Bell
One Government Center
640 Jackson
Suite 2200
Toledo, Ohio 43604

Re: Stratford Place, Old West End, Toledo Ohio

Dear Mayor Bell,

I am writing to you today to express my concern for the safety of my family, neighbors and neighborhood and to ask for your help. My husband, 4 ½ year old son and I live on Stratford Place in Toledo’s Old West End. Stratford Place has been a wonderful one block street between Parkwood and Scottwood Avenues, although we now fear living in the City and are considering our options. We really want to stay in the City of Toledo, but we have to protect our child from further trauma.

On January 12, 2011, at 12:00 in the afternoon, the steel back door of our house was kicked in and our belongings were stolen. Nearly $9,000 worth of electronics, a few pieces of jewelry including a very sentimental diamond ring, miscellaneous items, and cash were stolen or destroyed. Thankfully no one was hurt, although we feel violated beyond belief. We do have homeowners insurance, but the “good feelings” about the neighborhood are tarnished. After this incident, we had a security system installed in our home.

The Old West End has an Email Alert System, tirelessly monitored by a fellow neighbor. Over the past 6-8 months, we have been alerted of what seems like dozens of robberies or attempted robberies, many more than I have ever heard about in our 9 years living in the Old West End.

This past Saturday, April 9th, at 4:30 pm, our house was broken into again. This time they broke a window in one of our front door side lights, gained entry and violently hacked into our interior wall with an axe to disable our new alarm system. When the door was opened and the thieves walked in, our alarm and motion sensors were set off and our security company dispatched the police to our home. The police arrived promptly (I love the City of Toledo Police), within 10-12 minutes as near as I can tell. My husband and 4 ½ year old son were at the park and I was out running errands when this happened. We arrived home to 4 law enforcement cruisers in our front lawn only to find ourselves again robbed of electronics and irreplaceable heirlooms, victimized but alive.

The Old West End is truly a gem of a neighborhood. The largest collection of late Victorian, Edwardian and Arts & Crafts homes make this neighborhood one of the most beautiful areas in the United States. The Old West End is on the National Register of Historic Places. The rich and glorious history, architecture, and people, make this a wonderful place to live. The Old West End is home to countless historic homes and churches, the Mansion View Inn, The Toledo Museum of Art, the Toledo Symphony Orchestra TMA Peristyle, Rosary Cathedral, Collingwood Arts Center, etc. and has recently been featured in a 3 part series in American Bungalow Magazine. Our neighborhood hosts the Old West End Festival, Garden Tours, Concerts in the Arboretum, and Tours De Noel, all of which bring countless visitors from all around who put money back into our neighborhood and surrounding businesses.

We love our neighborhood. We love our neighbors. We love living in a front-porch community. We are proud to live in such a beautiful and diverse area. We had no intention of leaving our wonderful neighborhood, but we are scared and worried how to manage our trauma and how to see a safe future for our child within the City of Toledo.

The economic downturn has definitely taken its toll on our wonderful neighborhood, with foreclosures, boarded up homes, and now…more crime than we ever imagined.

As the Chief of the Toledo Fire and Rescue Department for 16 years and the lead for Homeland Security efforts in our region after the September 11 terrorist attacks, it is apparent that the safety of our great City is of utmost importance to you. I know the City of Toledo Police Department monitors our area. We also have block watches in place and the Old West End Security. While all of these efforts are greatly appreciated, they are not enough. Please help us!

Several of the notices received from our Email Alert System state that witnesses have seen 3 teenage/mid-twenty year old males with hooded sweatshirts and backpacks approach houses and knock on the door. It appears their MO is to make up a name and ask if that person is there if someone answers the door. If no one answers, they attempt to make entry. The thieves efforts have been thwarted on occasion by brave neighbors.

My parents taught me the same valuable lessons you live by, that you must treat people fairly and nothing good comes easy. Our family and home have been violated by people who do not live by these same lessons. I am now fearful to be in my home and fearful to be away from my home. This is no way for anyone to live. We are good people, we work hard for our possessions, we pay our bills, we help when needed, and we volunteer. We do our part to be upstanding citizens of the great City of Toledo and the wonderful Old West End.

I ask that you increase security in our area and that you consider addressing one of our monthly neighborhood meetings to let us know what is being done to help the wonderful people of the Old West End win this fight against crime. I know there are countless people in our neighborhood who would like to know what additional measures the City of Toledo is taking, or will be taking, to keep us safe.

Thank you in advance for your immediate attention to this matter. My family, and the residents of the Old West End look forward to your response.

Sincerely,



Deb Owens-Newland
Proud Resident of Toledo’s Old West End

Ct: Chief Michael Navarre, Chief of Police

4.12.2011

On becoming cynical and clinical

Our house was broken into on January 12th. Read the story here.


Since then:


we have replaced many of the items that were stolen

i turned 41

unemployment benefits dried up

the boy had scarlet fever

grandma died


On April 9th, our house was broken into AGAIN. At 4:30 in the afternoon, a warm sunny day.


The husband and the boy went to the swamp around 2pm. I have been battling an ear infection and decided to lay on the couch with a heating pad on my ear for a bit. I vegged out in front of the tv (watching some stupid movie with Gina Gershon) until 3:15pm when I decided I should get up and get some things done. I had a couple errands to run.


I ran my errands and was milling around Fallen Timbers looking for one more baby gift for my bff's new baby. I didn't hear my phone ring the first time at 4:31pm. I did hear it ring at 4:39pm as I was checking out at Learning Express. It was one of my other bff's. I ignored it, because I think it is SO RUDE when people are yappin on the phone in stores/at checkouts/in restaurants/etc. I listened to my voice mail when I left the store.


The phone call at 4:31pm was Central Security. Our front door sensor had been tripped, and so had the motion sensors inside the house. They dispached the police. The message from my bff said that she just got a call from our security company that our alarm has gone off and they sent the police.


WHAT.THE.FUCK?


I couldn't think. I couldn't see. I had no idea where I had parked. I felt like I was in a vacuum.


ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME?


I finally found my car, and in hysterics, hauled ass out of the shopping center and made the 20 minute drive home. The longest 20 minutes of my life. I couldn't reach my husband, via phone call or text. I was driving 85 miles an hour in a 50 mile zone, weaving in and out of traffic, and crying. Totally un-safe.


Mid-way home my husband called. He had not heard the messages or read the texts, so he had no idea what was going on. He found out what was going on when he and the boy pulled into the driveway and saw 2 cop cars in front of our house and 4 cops inside our house.


Sure as shit. We had been hit again.


This time, the ballsy bastards broke one of the windows on our front door sidelights.

OUR.FRONT.DOOR. 4:30PM. BROAD.DAYLIGHT.


They reached in and unlocked the door.


Once inside, they filled their backpacks with our new laptops, new wii+controllers+games, new dslr camera, and pulled the new tv off the stand and destroyed it - kicked it, jumped on it or beat it with something. Upstairs they destroyed my husbands external monitor and filled their bags with TWO JEWELRY BOXES of jewelry I have collected over the last 40 years. Woops...41 years.


The majority of the jewelry missing are earrings and bracelets from my friend Jenny. 8 years of buying from and working for her jewelry. Also missing are diamond earrings, a diamond pendant, several gold/semiprecious rings and gold bracelets, lots of silver including a couple tiffany pieces, john hardy bracelets and my pandora bracelet full of charms. Some costume stuff, but mostly gold and silver. My necklaces hang on a rack and thankfully that was untouched.


Not really sure how to put a price tag on a lifetime of baubles. $5k? $10k? UGH.


It was A.LOT.OF.JEWELRY.


As I was crying hysterically over the missing jewelry, my almost 5 year old boy was so sweet and grown up. He calmly told me everything would be ok and that he was here for me. He asked if I wanted a hug. As we were hugging, he told me he was glad I wasn't home when the bad guys came because they could have shot me.


The thieves were clearly pissed that we had an alarm system. They destroyed the key pad and violently RIPPED IT OFF THE WALL...with a hand maddock. The hand maddock was still sticking out of the wall when we arrived...for effect, I'm sure.


Glass all over the floor...and in/on our shoes (because, you know, we take our shoes off at the front door and that's where they sit). Glass. 101 year old wavy glass. They just don't make it like that anymore.


Our cats, once again, were not harmed. I am sure they ran and hid when the window was smashed. Thank goodness.


So, here I am. 13 days later. The boy - yeah, he's sleeping in our bed. Because I want him there. Everyone I see with a backpack is a suspect. Every group of kids I see walking around the neighborhood are suspects. In my dreams I have staged elaborate sting operations where I end up shooting the thieve(s). In the face. With a shotgun.


Neighborhood email list has documented many of the break-ins, and there have been many recently. Witnesses of other break-ins, or attempted break ins, have seen a group of 3 teen/early twenty year old males in (apparent) action. One will walk up to the door, knock, and if no one answers, two of them will break in while the other stands guard. If someone does answer...they will ask if "so and so" is home. When they are told they have the wrong house, they leave.


Our awesome little street alone has been hit 7 times in the past 6-8 months. This is our 9th year in our house and we have never had a problem. Only incident I ever heard about from a neighbor was a stolen car...a car that was parked on the street and unlocked. I guess our windshield was smashed several years ago, but so were 20+ others in the neighborhood. Just distructive jerks with baseball bats. Not a huge deal.


I've seen how the economic downturn has hurt our neighborhood. There have been many foreclosures. There are now many houses boarded up. I have been thinking about photo documenting it...but don't want to attract any (more) bad press. And now, I don't have a camera anyway. It seems as if the bubble has popped.


We love our house. We love our neighborhood. We love our neighbors. We don't want to move. We don't want to let the skumbags win.


I.DON'T.WANT.A.DOG.


I don't really like dogs. And I'm worried about my 12 year old cats. They go ape shit bonkers if someone brings a dog up on our porch. I don't want to stress them out. They're old. And they are our first babies. BUT, we are considering a dog. Talking about it. A puppy. A puppy who grows up into a big ass dog. Hubby wants a German Shepard. We have not said a word about it to the boy, because you know he REALLY WANTS A DOG. He's been asking for one since he could talk.


Eventhough I am upset about the weight gain from this medication, the meds do help keep me sane. Otherwise I think I would be committed to a mental facility by now.

3.15.2011

100 Things About Me

How about 100 Things About Me that you never wanted to know, but I am going to tell you anyway. Or, who knows, maybe you did want to know.


1. I got married when I was 29 years old
2. I started getting acne at 29 years old
3. I'm still married
4. I still have acne
5. I've known my husband since 1985
6. We did not *ahem* date in high school
7. I have had a crush on my husband since 1985
8. I hate being hot
9. I hate summer
10. I hate beaches and beach vacations
11. I had my only child at age 36
12. He is the love of my life
13. Actually, I am lucky enough to have 2 loves of my life, my husband and son
14. I smoked for 13 years
15. I don't really remember being a smoker
16. I think my son is cuter and smarter than all other children
17. My biggest regret is that I did not go to college
18. I manage to make as much as many of my degreed friends, despite this
19. I love shoes and handbags
20. I like to paint...walls
21. I read every night
22. I like monster truck shows
23. I gained 65 lbs with my pregnancy
24. I still have 40 to lose
25. I hated, no HATED, being pregnant
26. Breastfeeding gives me the willys
27. I have, and will probably always have, boob issues
28. I don't care if this offends you
29. I like being entitled to my opinion
30. I cannot understand a thing most pre-schoolers say, except my son
31. I love Facebook
32. Twitter does little for me
33. I am a spend thrift
34. I manage to squander away money too
35. Some of my friends are trainwrecks
36. Compulsive lying irritates me
37. I have Fibromyalgia
38. I thought everyone was in pain all the time
39. I have been coloring my hair for 15 years
40. I am proud of my fair skin
41. I've had 2 squamous cell carcinoma spots removed from my back
42. I sleep 8-9 hours every night
43. I love coffee
44. Vodka is my liquor of choice
45. I love beer
46. and wine
47. I have an older brother
48. We haven't spoken since I was 16 years old
49. I have 2 large tattoo's on my back, 7 tats total
50. I love my Blackberry
51. I have recently considered getting a Droid and feel guilty
52. I am learning how to shoot a gun
53. I love shooting guns
54. I'm damn good at shooting guns
55. I love the rush and feeling of control that shooting gives me
56. I think my husband is incredibly sexy and has an amazing physique
57. I hate being fat
58. I thought I was crazy for 2 years before my Fibromyalgia diagnosis
59. Sometimes I really like my job
60. I love gardening, as long as it isn't hot outside
61. I would move to Europe in a minute
62. I own one Apple product and hate it
63. Desperate Housewives is the only show I watch regularly
64. via on-demand, because I can't stay awake that late
65. I like Kick Buttowski, Suburban Daredevil
66. My son will be attending private school for free
67. Because we live in the 'hood
68. I love my 'hood
69. I wouldn't live anywhere else in Toledo
70. Eventhough our house was broken in to and $9k worth of stuff was stolen
71. I love Mexican, Indian, Asian, Middle Eastern foods
72. I rarely eat american fare
73. We try to patronize local restaurants as often as possible
74. My car windshield has been cracked since last June and I don't care
75. I prefer 30 degrees to 80, any day
76. The smell inside Subway (restaurant) makes me gag
77. My husband and son love Subway
78. I am a huge procrastinator
79. I love my parents dearly
80. I have 2 cats that I love dearly too
81. My son wants a dog
82. I really do.not.like.dogs.
83. I like to take pictures
84. I text my husband and bff at least 30 times a day
85. My parents are the only people I talk to on the phone
86. Outside of work
87. I love the way Cymbalta (Fibro med) makes me feel, but it's making me fatter
88. Which makes me feel rotten
89. I think Madonna (Ciccone) is amazing
90. My bff and I have very little in common
91. I am lazy
92. I hate to exercise
93. I find it absolutely impossible to put away my laundry
94. I love chocolate
95. I ate chocolate every day while pregnant
96. I don't like ground beef
97. You couldn't pay me to eat celery
98. All other vegetables are yummy though
99. I wear black every day
100. Nobody reads my blog, and I don't care

3.08.2011

A smile is worth...

So, sometimes I'm not very bright. I learned late last year that our Health Savings Account (HSA) money could be used for dental and vision too. This is pre-tax money that we put into an account, the amount equal to our Health deductible or more, and we have a debit card to use at Dr offices, pharmacies, Hospitals, etc. Once our deductible is spent (from the HSA) all of our medical is covered 100%. Well, at the end of the year, we still had about $1200 in our HSA. No biggie, it can be carried over year to year, and the amount put in by-weekly can be adjusted if you wish.

However, if you use any of the HSA money for Dental and Vision, it doesn't count against your deductible. It's best to use any cary-over money for Dental and Vision, because if you have more medical expenses...yep, it comes right out of your taxed pocket.

Once I learned that we could use this HSA money for Dental and Vision, I looked through our preferred provider list to find a new dentist. I hated our last one (Reynolds Corners/Corner Dental - DO NOT EVER GO THERE), and needed to find a new one.

I occassionally listen to 92.5 KISS-FM in the car - actually, I never really listen to anything. It's pretty much background noise, so whatever is on is on. Anyway, on the morning talk show, when Carlos Diaz is on, he promotes Dr. Frankel. Good enough for Carlos, good enough for me.

Sure enough Dr. Frankel was a preferred provider. And, ooh, goodie, free whitening for new patients.

So, I made an appointment in November. I've since had 6 fillings filled - some of them old old silver ones that had cracked - with the new and improved white porcelan looking fill. My mouth no longer looks like it's full of metal. YAY. And I've had a wisdom tooth extracted. ICK.

So, next up was the free whitening. I was a smoker for 13 years, I've drank coffee for 20+ years, I've never whitened my teeth. I didn't know what to expect, and honestly I do see a difference in the photos, but it's not huge. When I smile in the mirror though, it is like WHOA, HOLY SHIT, MY TEETH ARE WHITE!!!

What do you think?



Next up, the crown on my right front tooth (left one, looking @ the pics). I've never been happy with it. Its always been too big. I've had it for about 13 years. My insurance covers 60% of it, so I'm getting a new one. I am so excited!

On March 21st, the old one will be removed and a temporary one will be put on until the new tooth is made. I hope it doesn't take long, because I am consumed with excitement by the thought of having a new front tooth. HORRAY!

Down the road, I will probably do Invisalign, to straighten up my one little crooked tooth on the bottom, but the extra HSA money is almost gone for now.

BONUS: Dr. Frankel is YUMMY! So nice and a pleasure to look at. Can't beat that.

1.31.2011

A Lesson for Daddy

My boy and I ran errands on Sunday. Got paint for the Dining Room, looked for new Living Room furniture, got the car washed, picked up a few things at Menards.

Menards had a aisle with random children's toys. The boy found 4 in 1 deluxe city, with roads and all sorts of fun stuff for his Hot Wheels. It was on clearance for $12, so I got it for him.

He was super excited to put it together when we got home, so Daddy sat on the living room floor with him and they opened the box. I watched as they dumped the contents, cars, little packages of tracks, trees, traffic signs, etc on the floor. I headed to the kitchen to put some things away and then upstairs.

I hear my husband make this loud gutteral noise I hadn't heard from him before, and then I hear blood curdling screams and cries from my boy.

I head downstairs to see what had happened. I found the 2 of them in the kitchen, My husband holding my son and holding my son's hand up in the air. The water was running.

I saw blood and pinkish-blood water dripping down my husbands arm and down my son's arm.

"What happened?"

"It's ok, it's ok. It's just a little cut. He's ok." my husband replied, panting.

"How did he get cut?"

"I gave him my knife to cut open the packages."

"You did what? You gave him a knife?"

"Yeah, my Leatherman."

"Huh?"
At this point, my son was sitting on the counter while my husband continued to hold his hand up. My son was sobbing and asking for his mommy.

I crawled under the arms in the air, and hugged my son and patted his back and told him he would be ok. I continued to hug and soothe him.

My husband walked around to my other side and asked me to hold the boy's hand up. I obliged. I'm still bent over, hugging my child who is sitting on the counter, only now I am holding his hand in the air too.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my husband moving funny. So, I turned my head to look at him. I watched a series of weird head twitching, stumbling side steps and the next thing I know he is falling backwards. His head and shoulder crash into the counter and he falls to the floor.

I look in disbelief, my boy has stopped crying and is staring at his father on the ground. I'm standing there, looking back and forth at my son, who's hand I am still holding in the air, to my husband who just fell to the ground. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? My son is cut and my husband is lying on the floor.

I reach to my husband (still holding my son's hand up) and grab his arm. I make my way to his hand and start shaking him, saying his name over and over again.

He opens his eyes.

"Dan, Dan, Dan, are you ok. Honey can you hear me?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. What are you talking about? What's wrong? What happened?"

"You passed out. Or had a seizure. Or a stroke or something."

"I did?" He looks around, and sees that he is on the floor. He gets up off the floor. He is pale as a ghost and panting.

He reaches in the fridge for water. I turn back to my son and notice that the cut has stopped bleeding. I look at my husband again.

"Did you just splash water on your face?" I ask.

Panting, "No, why?"

"Oh my gosh, you are covered with sweat then."

He stands there and steadies himself. I go back to my son. I take the paper towel off his finger and get ready to put Neosporin on the cut and wrap it.

I look at my husband again and and he is so pale he is almost green. I send him to sit down with water and a granola bar.

I wrap up my sons finger, give him a Tylenol, pick him up and head to the living room to hug him on the couch for a while. My husband is laying on the floor. Not passed out, but still green.
After a few minutes, he gets up, his color is normal and he joins us on the couch.
I asked if he thought it was a good idea to give him the Leatherman.
"No."



1.18.2011

$9,000 Charmin Ultra

On Wednesday, January 12th at approximately 11:00 am, my husband left for the grocery store to pick up some toilet paper. We were out. At 11:58 am, he arrived home and caught a glimpse of a black sleeved arm and a black shiny thing.

It took a minute to register, but that black shiny thing appeared to be a TV and it was being carried through our neighbor's fence. Quite certain it wasn't our neighbors Harry or Wanda, my husband got out of his truck and yelled "what the f*ck are you doing", and the black sleeved arm dropped the TV and ran. My husband proceeded cautiously to the dropped TV. He thought to himself..."gee, that looks like our TV". (shit) He looked toward the back of our house and saw foot prints leading up to our back door. (shit) He knew the foot prints were not his because it was fresh snow, and he had not taken garbage out yet. (shit) He walked to our back door to discover that it was wide open and damaged. (shit) It had been kicked in. (shit) He grabbed a knife out of the drawer in the kitchen and walked through the house. (shit) Thankfully, there was no-one inside.

He called the police. He called me. Then he started looking around the house. Initially he noticed the TV (broken and in our neighbors back yard), the Wii, his laptop, my laptop and his laptop backpack were missing. I arrived home, and thankfully the police were still there. I noticed that our Christmas cash was missing (somewhere between $300-400), digital camera, digital camcorder, the Wii controllers and nunchucks, Wii games, 3 of my Coach handbags (that were hanging on the coat rack in the foyer...I know...STUPID), my Kindle, some jewelry.

The thief stuffed the laptop backpack (which I went to the ends of the earth to find and spent a hundred bucks on) with the missing items. The laptop backpack was purposefully big enough to carry a 17" laptop and school books and accessories. It was HUGE and sturdy...perfect for a thief.

Over the next day or so we noticed that our "spare" cell phones were gone. The ones I kept in my desk drawer as back ups incase something happened to our current ones. Lightwave 3D was IN his computer disk drive, his scientific calculator was in the backpack, AND a mug he got in Germany - about 25 year ago - was missing. The mug was filled with miscellaneous treasures and trinkets...and his SOCIAL SECURITY CARD!

So, now, not only do we have to deal with personal property theft, we have to deal with possible identy theft. I've reported it to the police, the SS office, the Credit Bureaus. I've changed all of my usernames and passwords that may have been prefilled on various websites on my computer.

And while I was changing those usernames and passwords, I completely forgot what new login I had just set up for our bank accounts. I ended up getting locked out of our account for 3 days because I kept trying versions of what I thought I changed it to.

I didn't eat for 2 days following the event and felt broken. I hated being in my house. I hated not being in my house. I slept with my son for the first 2 nights, for fear of an intruder taking him or hurting him. I have allowed him to crawl into our bed for several nights since the intrusion.


We decided not to tell our son what had happened. We didn't want to scare him. We figured the only items he would notice were missing were the tv and the Wii. We made up a story about our cats wrestling (and boy do they wrestle, WWFF {World Wrestling Feline Federation}) behind the tv and accidentally knocking it, and the Wii, off the tv cabinet. He fell for it.


He did ask his dad why he had a different laptop (because we replaced it the next day). His dad said that he took his other one to school and traded with this one. He fell for that too.


So, the items missing total roughly $9,000. Our insurance company was absolutely wonderful and fast with the claim. State Farm rocks.

Most of the items taken is just stuff. I am sad about the digital photos on my laptop. I did save all of my photos to disk about 6-7 months ago, so I'm only missing 6-7 months worth and a lot of them are posted on facebook, so I can get some of them back. The camcorder had the boys holiday program on it. I'm sad about that. But I have photos.


My dad gave me a diamond channel set ring 13 years ago after his double bypass heart surgery. When he returned home from the hospital, I basically moved back in with my parents while he was recovering. I helped him get out of bed and get dressed every day. I helped him up and down the steps. I made him do his lung exercises. I made him eat. You see, he listened to me. He wouldn't do these things for my mom. He called me his Drill Sargeant. After he recovered and was feeling good, he and my mom got me a 1 carat diamond channel set ring as a thank you. Completely unnecessary, as I would do absolutely anything for my parents, but it was very important to me. They picked me up at the airport, after a trip out to Arizona to visit my then boyfriend (now husband) and surprised me with it in the airport. I was so touched I silently cried in the back seat all the way home. And now...it's gone.


Sold for crack.



We spent over $200 securing the doors and windows on the first floor. Another $200 on wood blinds for the front bay window - in lieu of the sheer curtains that hung there.


We spent $655 having an alarm system with cellular communication installed.

This has been one of the most miserable experiences of my life.

And certainly the most expensive Charmin Ultra in the world.

1.01.2011

A year in review

Well, I guess it's an annual thing now, plus I really want to try and blog more than 5 times this year, so here goes...our year, twentyten:

My boy turned 4
I turned 40
My husband turned 41

I got a 5% raise
Husband is still collecting unemployment, despite 2 stupid roadblocks by the repugs
Have received many compliments regarding my work and have been invited to sit down in my bosses office (very unusual)

Went to North Myrtle Beach
In the summer
Wore a bathing suit in front of people
In 100 degree weather
Watched my bff get married for the 2nd time

Was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia
Started taking Cymbalta
Have no neck pain, little back pain, no GI issues, no headaches, no painful skin, few mood swings, the list goes on
I feel great
I feel like a WHOLE new person

Husband is an Honors Student, loves Math and building Digital Circuits
He is enrolled at UT for Grad School
Hopeful employment will come quickly after graduation in the spring
His Professors at Owens continuously ask him if he is going to TEACH after graduation

My mom suffered chest pains and it was determined it was not her heart but the worthless Gall Bladder
My dad suffered halucinations, uncoordination, uncontrolled out of body experiences and it was determined it was his sugar pills (diabetes) and dehydration (from having the flu). Medicine has been adjusted and he is feeling great.
My boy had croup a couple times, but his Ped has assured me it is not asthma and he will grow out of it

I did not renew my membership to Lifestyles for several reasons
I found it an absolute pain in the ass to get there
I think the facility is filthy
I hate the fact that overweight girls work there and eat at the front desk
I decided to start walking in the morning and then took a stab at jogging
I wasn't very good at jogging, and never really jogged further than a mile
The mornings got too dark and since that was my only real time to do it, I gave up
I will exercise again
Someday

My husband and I celebrated 11 years of marriage
We had some deep heart to heart conversations and are closer than we have ever been
He is truly the love of my life

My boy moved from the Preschool to the Pre-K room
He is very smart and easily bored with school
He aced both 2010 skills assessment tests

We are in the process of remodeling our upstairs bathroom
The tub enclosure was ripped out and a claw foot tub was installed
Floor is partially tiled and wall surrounding tub is tiled
Walls are painted

I know there's more, but I have been fooling around with this thing off and on for a month, so I'm finished.

What awaits us in 2011....