10 days & Holidays

I'm so proud of my big boy. This is his 10th day ninny-free. He did ask me about it Saturday night. Told me that he "needed" it. I promised him that I would look for it again.

Last night as he was winding down watching a little Curious George before bedtime, he was laying with his head on my lap (gosh, I just love that) and was sucking his fingers. Hmmm. Hopefully this is not his new "ninny". I can't take fingers away. Or lose them. Well, you know what I mean.

Christmas was a huge hit. He tore into the presents! He liked to stop occassionally to play with new toys (after daddy took them out of the box), but would dive right back into tearing. Grandpa had him distribute the gifts, which was really cute - he really is a good helper. With each one that was for him, he said in a surprised tone "this one's for me??" He did get 2 outfits from grandma and grandpa and after he opened the box and saw what it was he handed it to me and said "here mommy, these are for you". Gee thanks.

He got so much stuff from Grandma and Grandpa - I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do with all of it. It's just insane. I have been pretty good about sorting thru his toys regularly, but it seems like he plays with most everything that we have now. I just don't know what to do. His playroom is STUFFED and our livingroom and diningroom are still cluttered. He has way to many ride-on toys, but I know they cost a fortune, so I feel terrible donating them. Maybe I will try and sell some of it on eBay or Craigslist?

The biggest hit was the train set! Daddy and I put it together on Christmas Eve Day and kept it from him until after he opened the gifts under the tree on Christmas morning. We asked if he wanted to see his "special surprise" in his playroom. Yes, of course. He was so thrilled when he saw the train set that he ran over to it, and before really playing with it asked (surprised) "this train set is for me?" Yes, of course. (that is what he is saying in the photo)

We spent so much time playing trains over the past few days! I will be glad when the holidays are over and we can have some kids over to play so I can take a break from playing trains for a while.

He does call the train set his "special purprise" - for some reason he can't or won't say surprise and says purprise instead. On the way to the sitter on Friday, he asked "does Pat (his sitter) have a special purprise for me too?"...um, no buddy, the special purprises are over for now.

Daddy got up early Christmas morning and baked homemade sticky buns. This is the first time in our 11 years together that he has baked...food...from scratch. They were absolutely delicious. He told me that this is a new tradition. What fun.

I am so very thankful for my wonderful husband and son and feel so lucky to have them in my life.

**Spacing issues...no idea why**

Ink, Cookies and Pacifier - update

Healing tattoo's suck. Especially in this location. Gah.

Cookies...4 left.

Pacifier ("ninny")...he's down for his 5th night without it. 4 full days without it. Such a big boy. So very proud. He hasn't mentioned it once today. I guess one was found in a toy box at the sitters, and one of the bigger kids took it and hid it before the boy could see it. Awesome.

I'm off for 5 days. And then next week, I'm off for 5 days too. WOOT WOOT.

Happy Holidays.

Ink and Cookies - update

Ink - I forgot how annoying a healing tattoo is. GAH!

Cookies - my husband has eaten another dozen. That's 2 dozen large decorated sugar cookies in 2 days. When I told him that they were for Christmas Eve at my parents house, he said "oh, I didn't realize you made them for anything other than eating". Do you honestly think I would go thru that much time and effort to make 3 1/2 dozen cookies just for you to scarf down? NO! Grrr.

Cookies

So, this weekend - since Daddy worked ALL weekend - the boy and I had a craft extravaganza. We played with play doh, colored, painted, painted mugs for grandma and grandpa for christmas, recorded special messages in those "record-a-message" hallmark cards for daddy and grandma and grandpa, and we baked and decorated cookies.


As you know, he will sit still and color for about 15 minutes (MAX), he will play with play doh a little bit longer than that, and he will paint a little bit longer than that.


Cookies...he decorated about 8 or 9 with me before he was done. He did a super great job and ate a handful of sprinkles for each handful he put on the cookies. I think he really enjoyed it...but the attention span just isn't there. He is so go go go - all the time. It was an exhausting project. In total we (I) baked and decorated about 3 dozen.





I packed up a plate full for an OWE party, and as I was putting the boy down for bed - daddy proceeded to eat a dozen of them. Yes, a dozen. Huge stars and teddy bears. A dozen. And I'm the one with weight issues. Grrr.


Good news though. We are on day number 3 without a pacifier ("ninny"). He lost the last remaining one. We couldn't find it anywhere. I promised him I would look for it Friday night while he was sleeping. He asked about it first thing Saturday. I told him I couldn't find it. He asked again at naptime, same response. Then again at bedtime Saturday night and Sunday morning and Sunday naptime. Same. He's handling this really well. I'm concerned that he will "find" one at the sitters tomorrow and we will have to start over again. But, in the meantime, I'm enjoying that he is such a big boy and seems quite able to sleep and get thru the day without the damn thing.

Play Doh

I don't know why, but today was the first time the boy and I played with play doh together. I really have no excuse, except maybe I just didn't think he would be interested since he won't sit still and color for very long. I figured I'd get all this stuff out and he would be interested for 2 minutes, and then I'd have to put all this stuff away. It was pure laziness. I should have known...play doh has the potential of being messy. So, he loved it. Of course. And you know what, so did I.

Who says broken cars can only be drawn:

Salad 101

Dinner tonight: A salad. Mixed greens, tomatoes, carrots, orange peppers, avacado, artichoke hearts, hard boiled eggs, smoked turkey, feta cheese, blue cheese dressing.

He's such a good eater!

Percentages

So, the jobless rate is at a 35 year high: 6.7%


We've been on pins and needles all week waiting for my husband's employer to announce their new "aggressive actions" for cost savings measures. They have made numerous company wide job cuts, so we feared we were going to be a national statistic.


I created a plan. A survival plan. IF his job was cut, and IF he was able to collect unemployment, we would survive. We would save on childcare as I would expect him to keep the boy home a minimum of 2 days per week, I would cancel our home phone - which we have talked about doing forever since it's a nuisance and we never use it, we would shop around for better auto/home/life insurance rates, we would buy the bulk of our groceries at ALDI, and I would CURB my spending. There is often the opportunity to pick up extra work with his brother, so that would also help fill the gap. It really would be OK. We could do it.


My employer seems to be going strong, as we are sort of a necessary evil. We've had a banner year as far as profits are concerned, and just last week were catapulted into a half a million dollar project. A great way to wrap up the year. Additionally, I asked for and received, a 12% pay increase just a few months ago. We've hired 2 new employees in our Toledo office in the past 3 months. I couldn't be happier with my employer right now.


We've talked about refinancing the house since the rates have dropped to an all time low. I'm concerned about hour home value since there are so many foreclosures and short sales in the area. I think we would be disappointed in our home's current appraised value and can't really deal with that disappointment right now. The cost savings would be nice though.

So, the agressive plans were announced on Friday. They are cutting ALL employee salaries by 10%, effective January 1. Effective July 1, they will give back 5%. Bonuses and merit increases are suspended, as well as 401k matches.

Agressive? Yes. Can we live with it? Yes. Does is royally suck? YES!

The insluating project (that was on hold pending the outcome of this announcement) is back on. And we're going to have a splendid Holiday.

I'm making changes to my spending habits. I purchased a $119.99 pair of Sorel snow boots on endless.com 2 weeks ago. They are a little big, but I thought I would try them on with socks and wear them around a bit before I decide to return them. I really need snow boots as my old pair got trashed last winter and I had to throw them out. I have nothing "snow proof" to wear on my feet. I tried them on again. They really are too big. So, I boxed them up and will ship them back tomorrow. Yesterday at Target, I thought..."what the heck, who says I can't wear snow boots from Target". I found a pair. They are REALLY cute, and I wore them last night to the tree lighting ceremony in my neighborhood - and they are WARM, and COMFORTABLE. And, did I mention...really cute! They were $39.99. See what I did. I just saved $80! I'm on the right track...right?

I just purchased holiday cards online. I have spent over $70 on holiday photo cards the past 2 years. I saw a friends "feed" on facebook about a site called vistaprint. I hopped on, found a layout that I like, uploaded a photo, and ordered them, for $11.99! WOW. That's good, right? I saved a ton of money.

I'm getting the hang of this...this whole living on a budget thing. Or, at least I'm trying. Baby steps. Which reminds me...I need to go thru the boys old shoes and see if I can sell any of them on eBay!

Christmas in November

So, the in-laws winter in Texas and they like to get out of town as soon after Thanksgiving as possible. They won't return until sometime in April or May. So, we had Christmas with them today. We had a ton of fun. The boy was definitely more into it this year than last year. He loved to open gifts and loved playing with all of his new toys and everyone and gave lots of hugs and kisses and thank you's. He loved everything he got...especially the...front end loader. Battery powered scooping, here we come!!!

He got a ton of stuff (no clothes!!)...the loader, a cascading roadway, melissa and doug puzzles and a puzzle rack/holder (thank you), congo bongo monkey (he's in the foreground of the photo), "career" hats (police man, construction worker, race car driver, and fireman), paints (so he doesn't have to use daddy's acrylics anymore...what a mess that is), a new laptop & some cars and trucks. I'm not sure if that's all...but that's the stuff that is sitting in the middle of my livingroom to deal with tomorrow.

Now mommy needs to find some time to go through old toys and get some stuff out of here. Yippee for me.

Insulation, Organization and Manipulation

It's the holidays. That is for sure. Saturday morning after hubby got home from work (his last night of night shift for TWO MONTHS - YIPPEE) we headed to Target for family holiday photos. We actually didn't have to wait - as we have the past few times - and our photographer was absolutely wonderful. She got the boy smiling as big as can be and got him to sit when and where she needed him to. He was a great little instruction follower...which is not typical. Our photos turned out great too!

We returned home so hubby could get some sleep as his brother and daughter (our niece) were coming over in the early afternoon. I kept the boy up so he could play with our neice for a while. He went down for a nap at 2:30, without a fight. Since that's about an hour and half after normal naptime, he was exhausted, and didn't fight eventhough his cousin and uncle were still there.

His cousin is 11 and while he was napping, she organized all of his toys on our first floor! Categorized, organized and just plain neat! It was incredible. Of course I told her she did not have to do this, to which she replied "I loooove doing this". I said "You're hired!!" Within minutes after the boy woke up, there was disorganization everywhere, but I was able to enjoy some chaos free time.

While she was organizing, her dad was walking thru the house to give advice on insulating. Hubby started the insulating prep work today. Next up...insulation! WOW! No more $500 monthly heating bills? Are you kidding me?

Saturday night, I was able to get away and enjoy dinner (El Camino, natch) with a friend who I lost contact with 6 years ago, who I have recently reconnected with via Facebook. We had a great time catching up and it was great to get out. I was home by 9:15pm though. Ha ha. She has 2 boys - age 4 and 18 months - so we'll have some upcoming playdates, which is always exciting!

Sunday we headed to Adrian for a family get-together. Relatives from down south were in town so we (about 25 of us) headed to Family Kitchen for a late lunch. We went to great-grandma and grandpa's house before lunch so we could play and visit for a while since lunch was scheduled for 2pm (naptime) and we knew we wouldn't likely be able to stay too late without a nap. The boy was a trooper. Impressed everyone with his vocabulary and eating skills. He insisted upon eating part of my salad, and everyone was astonished that he liked salad. He also ate some fruit and nut mix at great-gma and gpa's house, which seemed to surprise everyone as well. He was pretty wound up toward the end (he had a brownie, which didn't help matters), but he was still a good boy. He fell asleep within the first 5 minutes of the ride home.

Dinner consisted of cheese ravioli's and grapes. Lately, he thinks it is ok to sit on the table. (He only does these things at home, thank goodness). Witness sitting on the table, sans pants, eating cheese raviolis.

The $130 Answer

I realized yesterday that the reason I can't make WW work for me is because I can't even force myself to journal. As an x-lifetimer, I know - oh so well - what the tools are and how they work. I know what things you HAVE TO do in order to succeed with WW. I weigh in and attend the meetings weekly. That's really the only tool I use. I don't weigh or measure my food. I try to calculate my points in my head. I don't ever journal. I rarely drink all the recommended water. Etc. I do, however, only bring 10-12 points worth of food to work with me every day, so daytime is no problem. Dinnertime is not usually a problem...it's after the boy goes to bed where I get into trouble. Munch, munch, munch.

On the way to my meeting yesterday, I thought "Hey, I wonder if I can use e-tools (which is FREE with my monthly pass membership) on my BlackBerry?" I sat thru the meeting, drove thru McDonald's for my Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad with LF dressing, and headed back to work. I looked online. Sure as shit...mobile e-tools. So, I logged in via my BlackBerry and immediately started journaling. I journaled every bite I took yesterday. Turns out I used 6 of my flex-points without even a second thought. Hmm. This, too, could be why I can't lose any weight.

I joined WW 13 weeks ago. At approximately $10 per meeting, I have spent $130 to come to this conclusion. I have also spent $130 to lose 3.8 lbs. Sometimes, I am just plain dumb.

So, onward and upward. I've journaled everything today, it's easy as pie. That CrackBerry is in my hands or in my pocket during all waking hours, so if I can't make a mobile journal work, I should just throw in the towel. I have a renewed sense of excitement for WW. I'm ready to do this. I have 24 lbs to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight. Sad but true. My goal is to have that off by my birthday. Completely doable. I'd like to try to get another 20-ish off by the boy's 3rd birthday. Whew.

I'm going to the gym on hubby's "off" days, and as soon as he goes back on day shift, I will be able to go more frequently. Realistically, I can bring the boy with me since I paid extra for the Kids Klub, but after he had that meltdown (6 months ago?), I just haven't had the heart to bring him back.

I have been searching for a couple long sleeve, feather weight, layering tees with exaggerated long sleeves for months now. You know, the kind that come half way down your hand (or longer)...I love it! I did run into one by Splendid, but opted not to spend $58 on a t-shirt. At least, not until I lose the weight. I popped into H&M (always a fave for disposable clothing) to see if I could find something for family photos on Saturday. Not only did I find something for photos...I found the exact long (exaggerated) sleeve tees that have been consuming my [clothing] thoughts for months. And at $12.50 each, I bought 3. I would have bought more, but they only had 3 larges. I'm wearing the purple one today and l-o-v-e it. Yippee!!!

I have been suffering from back pain for evah. We're getting a new matteress for Christmas, so hopefully that will help. I'm searching for a chiropractor downtown who I can visit during my lunch break. And I just bought some Turmeric (herbal supplement)...the lady at Claudia's assures me it will work. I also bought some detox tea...just for shits and giggles.

I just found out that a friend's husband passed away on Sunday. This is a high school friend who I have recently connected with via Facebook. He battled colon cancer for 2 years. They have 3 little kids. I am so very sad for her. Life is too short and you just never know when someone you love will be taken from you. Cherish those you love.

Two and a Half

Oh my goodness, little man. I cannot believe you are 2 and a half years old today. I can't even begin to explain how much love I have for you and how much you have changed my life.

You are a sweet and strong boy. You have recently become a Mamma's boy, big time. You choose me over Daddy frequently and demand my undivided attention. You frequently tell me you love me & you give me lots of kisses and hugs. Just the other day while I was giving you a piggy back ride, you hugged my neck so tight and without any prompting, said "Mmmm. I love you SOO much mommy". I melted.

Your vocabulary is incredible. You can and will repeat anything I ask you to, and occassionally I can't understand you, but for the most part...you speak as clear as can be. One day I asked if you could say "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious". You shook your head and replied with a simple "Nope". So, I guess there are limitations. Otherwise, you understand pronouns, you know all the words to a dozen or more songs - songs that I had no idea you knew, you have known your abc's and the abc song since long before you turned two and you still love to say them and to sing the song, you count to 16, you have memorized several books, you know a lot of colors and many shapes, and you love to tell daddy all about the things you and I see and do when we're out and about. Especially if we see contstruciton equipment or a train.

You are ridiculously outgoing and love to talk to everyone. When kids don't speak back to you, you tell me they are "sad". You have been known to ask them what is the matter, or you ask if they are sad. It's a little embarrassing. You think the lobsters are the grocery store are sad too, and I agree. A parent at a halloween party last month thought you were 3 1/2. He said your vocabulary was amazing and was surprised that you know so many different shapes (really?). He also said that mommy was doing a great job. That made me proud.

Aside from your incredible smarts [beaming with pride], you are incredibly fearless when it comes to playing on jungle gyms and the like, but are terrified of things like the "shower". You love to take a bath, but if I tease that I am going to turn on the shower...you look at me, terrified, and say "No Mommy, No, not the shower". It's really bizarre. You have recently started talking about monsters. The dining room light was off the other night and you told me there was a monster in there. You then tip toed into the bathroom and whispered "come on mommy, let's hide from the monster". So, we hid in the bathroom for a while before sneaking into the dining room to confront the monster. He was a silly monster, not a scary one, so we were ok.

You are incredibly S T U B B O R N, too. Last week after we got home from the sitter, you discovered the remainder of your blueberry muffin from breakfast (yes, it was left out all day - sue me) and ran over to it, grabbed it, and said "yummy". You took a bite and threw the rest of it across the room and said "YUCK!". Your dad and I told you to pick it up. You said "No!". So, we sat you on the floor next to the yucky blueberry muffin and sat on the floor with you instructing you to pick the damn thing up. You refused. We put a bowl on the floor for you to put the muffin in. We instructed you to put the muffin in the bowl. You went thru phases of tears, pouty lip, looking around distracted, flicking the muffin, scooching away, etc. After over 10 minutes of sitting there NOT picking up the muffin, we decided to give you a timeout. After 2 1/2 minutes in timeout, we plopped you back on the floor next to the muffin, where we went thru another round of your phases. After another 10 minutes, your dad took your hand, put it on the muffin and instructed you to pick it up and put it in the bowl. He put your hand on every piece of muffin and you picked it up and put it in the bowl, while sobbing. After all pieces were picked up and in the bowl, you jumped up, grabbed the bowl and exclaimed "I will throw it in the garbage!" Your dad and I looked at each other, puzzled. Wasn't that what we have been trying to do for the past 22 1/2 minutes?

You eat. Boy, do you eat. Everything. There are very few things that you dislike or won't at least try. Although you are starting to pretend that you don't like certain things, but I ignore your protests and you end up eating said things. We don't eat out often, but El Camino is your favorite restaurant! You love healthy stuff like fruits and veggies - you especially love salads, you drink gobs of milk, but you are also a junk food junkie. I think as long as we make sure you are getting more healthy stuff than junk, it's ok. And hopefully you have your dad's metabolism. You can't sit for long, so dinner often consists of you in and out of your chair. You have never had juice or pop and have never asked for either of them, and I'm going to try to keep it that way for as long as possible.

You love cartoons and will sit and watch your favorites, but you are also on the move a lot. If you sit for 10-15 minutes at one time, it's amazing. But you love Scooby, Wubbzy, Thomas, Bob, Mickey & Word World. I refuse to pay big bucks for cable, so we have accumulated a nice stack of dvd's. Sometmes these dvd's are as important to me as they are to you. I'm not ashamed to admit that I encourage you to watch them when I need to get lunches packed in the morning, or get dinner cooked, or do any other sort of chore that's difficult to do with you underfoot. If there is something other than cartoons on the TV, you don't particularly care. You rarely demand to watch anything. You ask, but if I tell you no, you're usually ok with that. You would rather "vroom" your trucks around the house or cook something up in your kitchen.

You're wearing 2Ts, although most of them are too short, and sort of big around. You weigh around 31 lbs and are about 37 1/4 inches tall. You're tall and thin. It's funny, you are so thin in the morning but by the end of the day - after all you eat eat eat - your belly is round and bloated. You wear a size 8 shoe. One of your friends who is 3 months older than you wears a 5, and another friend who is 5 years old...wears a 10! So, uhm, I think you're going to have some mighty big feet! You don't like clothes or shoes, so you spend most of your time running around in a diaper. You love to wear my shoes though...and especially my Harley boots or Ugg boots, because they are big and clompy.

You have 3 "loveys"...a ratty old burp cloth that you call "tag" because you love the tag on it, a blanket that used to be silk on one side and flannel on the other, but the silk is long gone - this is your "blankie", and you have Bubbles the Blabla kitty - called "kitty". You are also still addicted to your pacifier - "ninny" - but we really only let you have it at nap time and night time. And you are usually ok with that. I keep telling you we are going to give all the ninny's to the babies soon, and you tell me "no, we're not giving the ninnys to the babies".

You love trucks! The bigger the better. And if it makes sounds and/or lights up, it's even better. You know that when we go to Target, that I will buy you a new truck. Probably not a great habit that I started, but I enjoy making you happy. You have a little bit of interest in coloring...but you usually can't sit long enough. You do like to paint...probably because it's so messy. You are the king of messy. You like dinosaurs and other animals, and you frequently take them for rides in your big trucks, your shopping cart, your wheel barrow or for piggy back rides. You still won't "pedal" your bike. You prefer to be pushed around in it.

You are extremely exhuberant in all that you do. You love to push mommy's buttons, and trust me, you know every single one of them. You are very sweet and equally sassy. (It's ok for a boy to be sassy, right?) You are quite possibly the cutest child I have ever seen. I'm shocked that you don't have an agent yet.

We bought you a piano for your 2 1/2 birthday. You are drawn to piano's immediately upon entering a house or business that has one. So, mommy found one on ebay. The best $35 I ever spent! You love it! And we love you. Happy Two and a Half, big boy!

Harmless toys?

This thing. This Polaris Ranger RZR caused us to spend over an hour this morning at Toys R Us. Why did I take him to Toys R Us, you ask? Well, because we were in the mall parking lot at 10:30am...and, damnit, they don't open until 11am! So, I looked around for something to do...and spotted Toys R Us. I thought it might be fun. It was...at first. We did the typical thing...up and down the aisles...the boy tells me he "needs to see [such and such]", so I get it for him, he plays with it for a few minutes and decides he "needs to see" something else.

We turned the aisle and came upon this thing. "Lemme out, mommy, lemme out, I need to drive it" he exclaimed. Harmless I thought. 30 minutes later, he is still "driving" it. I tried everything to get him to move. This thing retails for $599. Needless to say, I don't think he is getting this for Christmas. I finally convinced him to head up front for a ride on the plane.

On our way up front, he spotted a train table/set. We played with that for another 15 minutes or so. We had planned to get him one for Christmas, so I'm glad he liked it as much as he did.

Damn the mall for opening late on Sundays.

Clothes

The daily battle to get the boy dressed seems to be getting a little better. Why? Because I just let him do it. He picks his pants and shirt, chooses which coat to wear (last year's winter coat which still fits, or a tan jacket), and which shoes (frog boots, brown shoes, dinosaur shoes [which are almost too small] or black shoes).

Today he choose: Camoflage pants, a red & gray long sleeve tshirt with a crane [construction, not the bird] on it, the orange and blue winter coat, green frog boots and at the last minute put on his camoflage Elmo hat.

My child is a fashion plate. We're all about style around here.

Warm?

Bath time. It's always an adventure. The boy has SO much stuff in the tub with him...it's quite hilarious. There's hardly room for him! There are foam numbers and letters that stick to the sides of the tub, no less than 5 cars/trucks, 2 ducks, 2 measuring cups, a spoon, and 2 squirt toys. And we always use the duck washmit. Among other things, he likes to fill it up in the faucet...well...as much as you can actually fill up a washmit. Tonight, after I turned off the water (we have to let it run the entire time he's in there - of course) he grabbed the washmit and said "Turn it back on mommy, I want hot water". I shook my head no. "cold water?" Again, shook my head no. "Warm?" Again, no. "Please mommy, I want warm water!" I didn't turn it on but thought my son was pretty amazing...asking for Hot, Cold and then Warm water. He's such a smarty pants.

Yes we did

You did it, my man. You did it. What an incredible day and an incredible journey. You have an incredible task ahead of you. You inspire me. And, it's evident that you inspire our nation too.

Change we can believe in.

Congratulations.

Amazing.

I am crying tears of joy.

GoBama

I voted this morning. Some of my anxiety is gone. The waiting game begins...

I'm sitting on pins and needles.

Thankfully I'm wearing new underwear.

Halloween

Well, you all know I'm not a fan...but I suppose it's not about me. So, we went to Adrian to see all the grandparents and thought we'd take the boy to a couple houses (his friends next to my parents house) for trick-or-treating. He loved to say Trick-Or-Treat and Happy Halloween, but he didn't want any candy from anyone. I guess that's good. So, we didn't bring home any candy other than what the grandparents put together in special Halloween gift bags - which also contained books, trucks, play-dough, non-candy snacks, a Handy Manny roller backpack, and other goodies. My thighs thank you!Since he fights all clothing, we decided to just dress him in his Bat Man jammies. I was even able to sneak the cape on him when he was busy playing with his new bulldozer! I'm not sure if he thought he was Superman instead of Batman though...because he tried to move a big truck in my parents driveway. Man of steel. And of course, there's no such thing as a posed picture with this kid - he's got way to much to do and see, so here are some action shots!

Didn't earn it

Ok, so, I got a new Blackberry Curve today (silver with a metallic pink cover - it's super cool!) I had every intention of making myself earn it...through weight loss. Really. I did.


I didn't wait. And I didn't earn it.


But, in my defense, this is what happened: My husband told me last night that his phone isn't holding a charge. He would charge it until it said the battery was charged, then take it off the carger and within minutes it was almost completely drained of battery power. It's been sort of dying for a while now. And since his cell phone is really the only way that I can "sometimes" get in touch with him - usually via text - I thought I had better do something about it. I was planning to give him my Voyager and get a Blackberry anyway. When I *earned* it.


So, this new situation just sort of accellerated the need for a new phone. See. See how I did that. See how I can justify any sort of shopping/spending. URGH!


I can't leave the damn thing alone. I can see why they are called Crackberrys. It is totally addictive. WOW.


My brother in law and family and us are going in on a iPod Touch for my Father in Law for Christmas. I know absolutely nothing about iPod's...about Apple products...etc. I think I will just buy directly from the Apple store and not even deal with searching for a better price. This way I know what I'm getting, right? Who knows. I have no use for the things. Especially not now. HA HA.

After VZW this morning I stopped in Tea Tree Bistro for some takeout. It was delish as always...but has left me feeling sort of bloated and blah. Blah.

And today is Halloween. We'll see how scared the boy is tonight of everyone's costumes. We'll see.

Ramblings

Every morning I battle with my son. He hates getting dressed. And he basically refuses to wear a coat.

In the evening, darn near the minute we walk in the door from the sitter, he takes of his shoes, socks...and PANTS. We live in a 98 year old house with no insulation. It's freakin cold in our house unless I have the heat set at 70+ degrees. And with $500 monthly gas bills, I refuse to turn it up that high. Especially in freakin October.

So, he runs around the rest of the evening in only a long sleeve tshirt & diaper. He often takes off the diaper too.

Back to the morning battle. I have to leave the house at 7:25am to get to the sitter and to work by 8am. Sometimes I don't have the patience in the morning to fight with him about changing out of his pj's. So, he gets to wear his pj's or half of his pj's - whichever half I can get off and replace with clothes. It's me. I know it is. He plays me.

He hates coats, sweatshirts, sweaters, etc. This morning I held up 2 coats for him to choose from. A tan jacket, and last year's winter coat (which still sorta fits). He needs a new winter coat - but if he is just going to refuse it, what's the point? Anyway, first he choose the winter coat. So, I started putting it on him. "Nooo! Not that one, mommy, not that one!" as he's squirming all over the place. So, I grab the tan jacket. "How about this one?" I say. "Mmm hmmm". And he thrusts his arms into the arm holes and then hugs me while I zip it up. It was weird. But, it worked.

I think giving him a choice may work.

He also likes to pick out his own shirts. I grabbed his favorite dump truck shirt out of the closet this morning and while I was trying to put it on him...he said "No! Not the dump truck. I wanna pick". So, back to the closet we went. He wanted to wear a (really cute) polka-dot linen button up shirt. I told him that wouldn't be warm enough (although, in hind-sight, if he would have let me put a long sleeve tee under it, it would have been fine). So, we went thru all the long sleeve tees - most of which have trucks on them - and he picked a Polar Bear tshirt from last year. It still fits...so, yay. We have a shirt! I changed his pants while changing his diaper - he was still half asleep so he wasn't paying attention.

Now I have friends telling me that their 10+ year olds give them crap about wearing coats. I really hope I don't have to go thru this for another 7 1/2 years.

Smoking with the boys!

So, 9 years ago today the husband and I quit smoking. I had smoked since I was about 17 years old. Not at my parents house, but pretty regularly otherwise. And since there was nothing else to do in the small town I grew up in, we drank and partied a lot, so I had plenty of opportunity to smoke it up on the weekends. When I was old enough to go to bars, I smoked near 2 packs per night. It was one after another, along with beer. Hubby smoked as long, and probably much more than I ever did.

Our brand at the time of quitting was Camel Wide Lights. Oh man. Talk about a smooth cigarette. And there was something extra special about the Wides too. I loved them. I still, after 9 years, occassionally dream about them.

Back a few months ago, when I had the Mirena/IUD and had completely lost my mind (seriously), I had REAL LIFE dreams that I was smoking. I drempt that I was hiding cigarettes from my husband, going out in the middle of the night to smoke, etc. Hell, maybe I WAS doing those things - I was THAT crazy when I had that damn thing.

Our reason for quitting was that we wanted to start a family. Or at least, we wanted to buy a family from the local animal shelter. 2 weeks after we quit, we headed down to pick out 2 kittens to take home with us. We adpoted John and Luke - who became Norman and Morpheous. Who are actually known today as Booka and Beady. Don't ask. I picked John, who was a cute fluffy cuddly little guy with a polka dot on his nose. I changed his name to Norman while we were in the waiting room because he was completely Psycho once out of the cage...he is now known as Booka. Dan picked Luke, the sleek skinny guy who was hanging upside down from the top of the cage. The naughty one. His name became Morpheous immediately...but is now Beady.

To this day, Booka remains crazy - totally bonkers, and Beady - naughty. Very naughty. They're good cats though, and we love them.

Now on to my son. Is it just boys, or do all pre-schoolers think bodily functions are hilarious. This kid cracks up histerically when he "toots". And will try to force more toots out. When he toots, he will put his hand over his mouth, eyes real big and say "what was that noise?" and then crack up! Same goes for burps. He is the king of burps and loves to entertain us with his fake burps. In addition, he like to watch himself pee. He's not using the potty yet (training starts in a couple weeks) but in the bathtub when all of the water has drained out, he likes to watch himself pee. He will stand or squat and contract his bladder until he pees. Then he cracks up the entire time he goes. He thinks it's hilarious. Last night after his bath, he was fake burping and it was a real long exaggerated fake burp and in the middle of it, he actually burped for real. I didn't think this kid was ever going to stop laughing. Hysterics.

I need to make an appointment for holiday photos, and think that our gimmic to get him to smile for the camera is going to have to be BURPING. Oh joy. Can't wait. The things we do, as parents, to get a good photo. *burp*

And I almost forgot...I made huge salads for dinner last night. Mixed greens, orange and yellow peppers, mushrooms, bean sprouts, tomatoes, cukes, black olives, feta cheese, grilled shrimp and topped with raisins and pepitas. My son...ate every last bit! Such a good eater! I can't imagine having a picky eater...we really lucked out. Knock on wood.

Buff-A-Yuck-A-Lo

So, let me just tell you about our trip to Buffalo/Niagara Falls.

Day #1: Friday morning an hour or so after my husband got home from work (he's on night shift) we hit the road. I drove, so he could sleep. I stopped around noon so the boy and I could have lunch and gas up the car. We stopped in Madison Ohio. The boy and I had lunch at McDonalds where he proceeded to dump an entire jug of milk on the floor. Off to a great start. Then he did his typical lick the caramel sauce (from the "healthy" apple dippers) from the container while it drips all down the front of him, trick. Fun fun. Thankfully the table of mullet wearing folks next to us helped with the milk spill and helped dump our wrappers and leftovers since I was trying to wrangle the boy and daddys food out to the car. We drove a little further down the road looking for a gas station - I think we found the only one in Madison and the price was $2.44! Yes! That's right...two dollars forty four cents for a gallon of gas. Jack pot. Madison is actually a very cute town despite the overabundance of mullet sightings.

So, on we go. While my husband and son napped, I enjoyed the easy peaceful drive and the absolutely stunning fall colors. We arrived at the hotel around 3:15pm. Our trip took just less than 5 1/2 hours, which wasn't bad considering we stopped for lunch. Gas prices in Buffalo...$3.67! Yep! The hotel (Comfort Suites) was nice and clean. We relaxed for a few minutes and discussed what we should do. We knew most of the attractions closed around 6pm so it didn't seem worth while to even try. So, we decide the boy might like a dip in the pool. We decided that we would order dinner in and maybe run out to a park or something for a while...to tire the boy out, you know. So, despite how I feel about bathing suits in public, I thought...what the hay. I don't know these people. Who cares. So, I put on my suit and we headed to the pool. It was very nice, and clean, and vacant. Not another soul around. Whew. There was a hot tub as well. We had a great time playing in the pool and hot tub. We headed back to the room and my husband asks where we should go for dinner. "Oh, uhm, I'm not going anywhere...I was just in a POOL. Look at me!" I said. To which he replied "Uh, well, I thought we were going out to dinner. I don't want to order in. We just got here...let's DO something." He completely forgot the conversation about ordering in. Nice. So, I took a few minutes to dry my hair and put on a little makeup. Yippee. Let's go out in public.

We stopped at the front desk for recommendations and for directions to the closest park. She points us to St. Angelo's Italian restaurant. Family friendly, good pizza, nice people. Sounds great. Our waitress seats us and takes our drink order. 5 minutes later she returns with our drinks. Uh oh. A sign of things to come? She takes our orders. At least 15 minutes later, she brings my husbands and my food out. The boys is not done yet. WHAT? This is a family restaurant? Don't they know that you NEVER bring out food until the child's food is ready. OMG. So, we sit there for at least 10 more minutes before the boys food comes out. I start eating my Greek Chicken Salad...there must be more fat and gristle than actual chicken meat on this plate...and...and...wait for it. Brown lettuce! I think I am going to throw up. I pick out the feta cheese and am done with it. My husband doesn't see what the big deal is. He says his sandwich is delicious. Well, yippee for you. In my book...this place was a complete joke and a waste of my makeup and dried hair.

We head across the street to the park...only it's 7:30pm by now and is totally dark and cold! We play for about 20 minutes and call it quits.

Back at the hotel room, I'm taking off my makeup and getting ready for bed. The boy usually goes to bed at 8pm, and since we are sharing a room, we all go to bed at 8pm. He is in the bathroom with me getting into everything, driving me completely nuts. I usher him out and tell him to go play with daddy. He says no and starts throwing a little fit. So, I start closing the door. Only half paying attention - and definitely irritated - I notice resistence. Well, it's typical for him to push back on closing doors so I can't close it. It wasn't until I hear blood curdling screams that I stop pushing. I open the door, he is standing there with CRUSHED FINGERS, screaming, sobbing. OMFG! I just closed his fingers in the fucking door! Daddy has jumped up by this point and is telling me to go get ice and he is running the boys hand under cold water. I come back with ice. The boy is screaming and sobbing and clinging to daddy for dear life. He won't even look at me. I'm hysterical. Crying, pacing, freaking the fuck out. Daddy sits with him for a while with ice on his hand, hugging him. He tells me to go relax. Yeah right. Daddy is able to bend the boys fingers (and the boy didn't scream when he did so), so we don't think they are broken. Finally, the boy wants me to hold him. I hold him and hug him while daddy goes to the store for pain reliever and bandaids. He comes back and tells me that the pharmacist recommended that we take him to the ER, even though we were able to bend his fingers. OMG! So, off to the front desk we go, for directions to the closest hospital. Ok, so apparently the closest hospital isn't great, so they strongly suggest we take him to the Women & Childrens Hospital of Buffalo - which they referred to as the "Best" hospital in Buffalo. Ok, we're there. Only 20 minutes away, but we find it absolutely impossible to find as it's not marked well and is on a dark residential street. We finally find it. We check in at 8:50pm. They call us back to an exam room at 1:30am. The Dr comes in and asks some questions and looks at it and said he wants to take an x-ray. That's what we want too. So, he said the x-ray tech would be down in a few minutes. 45 minutes pass. Then an hour. I'm like...are you fucking kidding me? I carry my sleeping child out there and ask if someone is ever going to take his effin x-ray. Oh...they haven't been down yet? Obviously not you effin moron. So, another 10 minutes pass and I walk over there again and I stand there until they FIND someone to take the effin x-ray. We get up to the x-ray room and the x-ray tech is busy complaining about her schedule and some other random bs for 5 minutes before she even comes into the room. And then she has the nerve to put on this super sweetsie voice as she straps the boy down and sends us out of the room. He is scared to death, crying and screaming the whole time...I'm dying on the other side of the door. We finally get to him and are sent back downstairs where we are ushered back to our room. I ask if someone is going to read the x-rays anytime soon and actually let us know the status. Oh, yes, yes, it shouldn't be too long, they show up on this computer within minutes. So, within 1o minutes, I am standing in the hallway, staring at the dr/nurses station with "the look" on my face. Finally the Dr comes over to tell us there are no broken bones and that he needs to write release papers. We were like...we'll wait at the desk while you write them. He writes them instantly and we are out the door. We get back to the hotel at 3:30am.

Awesome first day of vacation!

Day #2: The boy wakes up at 9am. Nice. So, since none of us got much sleep, we thought it would be good to take it easy today. Stay close, not do too much, make sure to come back to the room for a nap. So, we head to the Buffalo Museum of Science. This is a sorta-cute museum with a dinosaur bones exhibit that the boy loved and a toddler area that I didn't think we would ever be able to leave. The building's arcitecture was fantastic, but the museum was housed within the Buffalo Science School and was sort of hodgey podgey. It was cute and the boy seemed to enjoy it, so that's all that mattered. But...not really the cailber of museum we are used to. It was located in a really fabulous neighborhood. Now, it probably isn't a fabulous neighborhood - it's probably pretty seedy, but it reminds me of the OWE with big fantastic old homes. We went to Holiday Showcase Restaurant for lunch. We sort of expected some 50s diner with crazy stuff on the wall and funky music, but it was really just sort of "big boy-ish". The boy dropped his hotdog on the floor within minutes of receiving it. They replaced it free of charge, which was nice, but then he said it was "gross". It was a hotdog in natural casing, so his mother would definitely think it was gross too. I can't fault him for that.

We head back for a nap. After 45 minutes of horsing around, I finally convince the boy to sleep. I slept with him, which I never ever do, but was just exhausted. Daddy ran out and got a book and some misc stuff for the fridge. After the nap, we went to a local park to play for a while. We decided to head back to the hotel and hit the pool and order IN. So, the boy and I headed down to the pool while Daddy ordered food. I opened the door to the pool to find at least 10 MEN sitting in and around the hot tub, drinking beers and whooping it up. There I was. In a bathing suit. They were all staring at me...or at least in my head they were. I was Mortified! I argued with my head...this isn't about me. This is about the boy. So, I took off his shirt, whipped off my coverup and got in. They were nice and actually sort of flirty, which was odd considering I was in a bathing suit, and were very nice to the boy. We brought a ball with us and a couple of the guys threw it around with him for a while. One guy even called me the boys "sister". They asked if I was in any way offended that they were drinking in the pool. Um, no. And in my head...I thought "give me about 6 of those so I can deal with the fact that I am wearing a bathing suit in front of you". Ha ha. Funniest part, though, is that they all seemed to leave the minute daddy walked in the door.

So, an hour passes and we head back to the room as our delivery from La Tolteca Mexican Restaurant should be there soon. The food arrives at 8:15pm. (yes, 15 minutes after bedtime) Nice. So, we divvy up the food and discover that they completely forgot my chicken taco salad. For some reason there is a big container of beans and daddy ordered extra chips and salsa, so I ate chips, salsa and beans for dinner. It was good, and fine, but Daddy was irritated!

Day #3: We at breakfast at the hotel and finally headed to Niagara Falls. An easy 25 minutes from our hotel, and we're there. Being the sometimes stupid parent that I am, I ask the boy if he wants to ride in the stroller or walk. "I wanna walk mommy. I promise to hold your hand." Off we go. We aren't even a block away and he pulls this crap "carry me mommy, carry me". Um, no thanks. So, we turn around and get the stroller. He protests at first, but after a few minutes is fine. He gets out of the stroller when we cross the first foot bridge. We walk and walk and he picks up rocks, sticks, leaves, etc. We stop every once in a while to check out the waterfalls, but he just really isn't interested. Great. So, we walk and walk some more. We get to the falls. He likes looking at the water for about 2 minutes and then has had enough. I snap a bunch of photos and then we head into some of the grassy areas...he chases squirrels, birds, picks up rocks, etc. We go on like this for what seems like forever. We walk over to the horseshoe falls and check that out. He's more interested in the hill and the steps. Ok. After 20 minutes or so, we head up the hill to look for some lunch. He wants to be carried. Um, no. So, I put him in the stroller. He throws a fit. But after a couple minutes he is sound asleep. We stroll back to the welcome center to pick up a few souveniers and check out the lunch offerings. This place...that actually says on the building "Official Niagara Falls Welcome Center" is like some flea market with food vendors. The souvenier offerings are pathetic. Serious junk. And don't get me started on the food. So, we sit on some ratty old chairs for a few minutes to let the boy nap and try to figure out where to go for lunch. We decide we'll hit the Aquarium of Niagara first and then have lunch. Ok. The Aquarium is a total joke. They have some very sick looking seals, some fish and that's about it. We wake the boy up when we get inside and he seems very excited, so I guess it's worth the $18 admission. After about 15 minutes, we have seen the entire aquarium. No joke.

We head to the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch. Pathetic, yes, but also a relatively safe choice and since most of our dining experiences so far had been not-so-great, we thought safe was good. Everything was fine, and overpriced, but it was ok.

After lunch the boy wants to go play in the park, so we head across the street to play for a while longer, and then startd heading back to the car. By this time, he wants to be carried (we dropped the stroller off before heading to lunch), and only wants me to carry him. Fine. As I'm walking, I don't see the big pothole ahead and step right into it and nearly die. My already completely out of whack back is screaming with pain. I practically throw the boy to daddy and am paralyzed. After what seems like forever, I hobble to the car and slip inside. I am hurting pretty bad by now.

We get back to the hotel and daddy and the boy head down to the pool while I head to the store for some sort of back pain relief. It was a toss up...did I want to deal with the boy, or get away for a few minutes. Once everyone is back in the room, we decide that we don't want to go out to eat, and that after a late/large lunch we're just going to skip it and go to bed at 8pm. We have some snacky things in the room, so the boy munches on that for dinner.

Day #4: We head down to breakfast and kick around the idea of going somewhere on our way home. Check out is at noon and it's only a 5 hour drive home, so we could do something before we hit the road. We get back to the room and the boy is acting like a maniac. Daddy and I decide...fuck it. We're going home. We pack up our shit and leave. We were checked out by 9:15am.

We didn't stop for lunch and got home around 2pm, and after relaxing for a few minutes decided that we needed some good food and headed to El Camino. The perfect ending to a not so perfect vacation.

**We have decided that it's pretty miserable taking a 2 1/2 year old on vacation and plan to wait a couple years before we go anywhere again**

WW

Ok, so I went to WW today. I was nervous. I feel like I have spiraled out of control. I still haven't journaled. I did journal last week - on the day of weigh in - and then not again all week. I don't know what my problem is. I need to get back in the habit.

Anyway, I stepped on the scale. I told the lady behind the counter that it wasn't going to be pretty. She said..."well, you're down" and then sort of whispered the rest. I thought she said "point 4". I was ok with a .4 loss since I thought I would have gained.

She gave my book back and I went into the meeting room and sat down. I opened my book. I lost 2.4! WHAT? Are you joking? I was totally and completely off track this past week. My weigh in's have been so all over the place I don't know what to think.

I ate at El Camino - 2 TIMES - this weekend. I ate 2 chocolate cupcakes...with chocolate frosting AND sprinkles. I ate a half bag of kettle corn at Farmer Charley's. I didn't go to the gym once.

I'm blown away. But, I'm also sort of GEARED UP! That means...less than 9 lbs until my first goal...and a reward.

Hmmm. Our trip to Niagara Falls will be difficult, but hopefully it will entail a lot of walking and/or carrying around a 30 lb kid. And I will "try" to eat sensibly. I don't think Niagara Falls/Buffalo are really known for their excellent fare, so hopefully I won't be too tempted to cheat. :)

I CAN DO THIS! I WILL DO THIS!

Disorder(s)(ly)(ed)

It really is a problem. Compulsive Shopping. I admit I have a problem. I think that's the first step...admitting it. I am trying to correct it. Really. I am.


I haven't purchased anything for myself since 10/2. I did buy 2 sweatshirts for my son. He needed them. Last years no longer fit. And a new pair of shoes for him. I purchased a really nice pair of leather shoes on endless.com for him a month or so ago. They're black leather with a brown stripe on them. I bought them with the intent that they would be his every day shoes - covering the black or brown shoe dilemma I often have. After a week of wearing these to the sitter...they were showing signs of wear. 1 week. $69 toddler shoes. Scuffed. I was not thrilled, to say the least. But, honestly, what did I think would happen? Did I think [hope] my son wouldn't "play" in these shoes? Did I think [hope] he would tip-toe around and avoid dirt and concrete and whatever sticky/gross/gooey stuff kids attract? COME ON. USE YOUR BRAIN! So, in an effort to save my sanity over these shoes staying "nice", I purchased a very cute pair of brown leather (cheap leather - not "Handmade in Italy" leather [help me]) shoes at Sears. These are his every day/play/baby sitter shoes.


The failing economy is making me increasingly nervous, and I KNOW that I have to change my spending habits in order for my family to survive. I used 2 coupons at the grocery store on Sunday. I haven't used coupons in...um...ever. I do make a habit of only buying items on sale, or store-brand items, as I'm not really very brand loyal when it comes to grocery items. I will not, however, skimp on organic milk, organic meat, or organic eggs. I am going to make an effort to use coupons for my weekly grocery trips. I have considered giving Aldi another try, but I really have no desire (or time) to go to more than 1 grocery store each week.

I have been eating lunch out about once a week, which is always a visit to Pam's for a regular kitchen sink salad, a cup of soup and a Diet Coke. It costs around $12. That's $48 a month that I could save if I pack my lunch. Or at least cut back to every other week or just once per month. I do love her salads. And soup. And her canned Diet Coke is the best. :) I do love supporting local businesses, but I am going to try and cut back.

I'm not going to quit WW. Although, I do need to take it more seriously.

We leave for Niagara Falls on Friday. I am not in any way prepared for this trip. This is very uncharacteristic of me. I typically have lists made, directions and itineraries printed, suitcases out, etc by now.

We come back on Monday. Hubby and I are both off Tuesday and are taking the boy to the sitter. Hubby is going to re-side our garage (or at least the 1 side he can get to easily) since he's had the necessary materials for about 6 months now, and I am going to take loads of crap to Goodwill/Salvation Army. I am also going to donate about a thousand pairs of shoes to Soles for Souls. Some of the clothes I am donating have been on my 3rd floor since I lost weight with WW 5 years ago! Thankfully these clothes are all still way too big...but what on earth am I keeping them for? It's things like this that make me crazy. But I feel like I never have time to do things like this. I am taking the time. Tuesday, October 21st. It's gone. It's all gone. Besides...I want the tax credits, so it has to be donated soon anyway.

The boy is getting taller and therefore thinning out (he's not really very big around anyway, despite the way he eats). He has 3 pair of pants that fit around the waist and in length. He has 4 pair of pants that still fit in the length (good enough for the sitter anyway) but are absolutely enormous around the waist. I'm giving them to goodwill. He does have 3 pair of sweatpants that fit as well...so I am trying not to run out and buy him new pants. I am TRYING.

I am obsessing over a pair of boots, a new cell phone and 2 tattoos...but I am making myself earn them. Weight Watchers style.

Corn Stalks and whatnot

Hubby was off all weekend, so we decided to have some family fun. Grandma and Grandpa (daddy's parents) came over Saturday and we headed to Monroe to check out Farmer Charley's. We went for a hay ride, pet some goats, ran thru corn mazes & the pumpkin patch, played in the toddler area and tried to go for a train ride - but the conductor was no where to be found for about 5 minutes. The boy was over it. The boy really thought the corn maze was a blast as Daddy ran ahead and hid around the corner. The boy had a great time trying to find Daddy, and tried, several times, to make his own path thru the corn.

Sunday we headed over to a friends house to play with their [almost] 5 year old. The boy had a great time. After his nap, we headed to dinner - El Camino, the boy's favorite place - with Grandma and Grandpa (mommy's parents), and then they came over to play afterwards.

Oh, did I forget to mention that we went to El Camino on Saturday night as well. Pathetic, yes. Delicious, yes.

I am definitely sick. I have that same sinus garbage I've had about 4 or 5 times this year. Starts with a dry, scratchy throat and sinus pressure. Then along comes the sinus drainage down the back of the throat and the overall feeling of being run over by a truck. Yippee.

I was heading up the basement steps, after putting clothes in the washer, and saw that the boy was heading down the steps. Our basement is gross. Yucky, old, dirty, gross basement. I NEVER let the boy come down there. Never. Over-protect much? Yes. Anyway, I started up the steps, scooped him up and started to carry him back up the steps. My slipper slipped and I nearly fell - but was able to set him down on the landing. I ushered him up the steps and felt pain as I climbed the rest of the steps. My foot was sore all day yesterday and throbbing throughout the night. Today...it's black/blue and swollen and I can barely put any pressure on it. I think I may have broken my big toe! ACK.

Good times. Good times. Sick & broken...days before vacation.

Snake! I like Snakes!

My husband brought home this tube from his brothers construction business. He thought it would be a good toy for the boy. I was like...are you kidding me? Get that thing out of the house. Well, he didn't get it out of the house, and the boy does love playing with it. Monday night, the boy crawled in it and hubby picked it up and started swinging it around. See below... So, last night, I asked the boy what he wanted to be for Halloween. Since mommy doesn't particularly like Halloween, we've never really talked about it, so he really has no clue. So, I tried to explain the whole costume thing and then starting making suggestions as to what he could dress up as. He shot down most of my suggestions (Fireman, Police Man, Mail Man, Kitty, Puppy, Dinosaur, Bob The Builder, Scooby Doo, Shaggy, a tiger, turtle, bear, bug, Thomas The Train [or Thomas the Tank Engine, as he calls him], dragon, Elmo, horse, on and on and on), but as we were watching Bob The Builder last night...he said "Mommy, I wanna be Wendy for Halloween". Um, ok. I have no problem with that.

I was prepared to try and find a Wendy costume online today, but when I asked him this morning what he wanted to be for Halloween, he said "Ummmmm. I dunno." So, I started making suggestions again and he interrupted me when I was listing off different animals and said "Snake! I like Snakes! I want to be a Snake!". So...ok, a snake.

Do I start looking for a snake costume? Or, do I continue to ask him for a few more days? Should I just take him to a Halloween store and see what happens?

Tricky

Those scales. I tell ya. They are tricky.

So, 2 weeks ago - my weigh in just after the boy had been sick was not good. I was up around 2 lbs. It didn't make much sense to me. I guess I really did nothing but sit on the couch with him for 3 days straight, and crammed food in my mouth when I had 30 seconds to myself. But, I wasn't eating bad food.

I used my "no weigh in pass" the following week because I felt like I have completely fallen off the wagon. I've only journaled 1 or 2 times in the past 2 weeks and just feel terrible for letting myself get so out of control.

So, today was the day. The dreaded scale day. I decided I had to face the music. After {ahem} having a little visitor arrive this morning, I was doubly terrified of the scale.

Oddly enough, I lost .6 lbs. I am in shock. I even ate out 3 times in the past week (I *rarely* eat out), and had a couple beers (and I even more [less?] rarely drink). Odd. Very odd.

So, I feel pretty focused. I just ate my 4 pt lunch and am still sort of hungry and may eat my breakfast that I didn't eat this morning because I don't eat before weigh ins. I'm gonna do this. I am going to get this weight off. As mentioned in yesterday's post, there are 2 (actually, 3 now) items I really want. I am going to force myself to work for them.

One of the members who joined the same day as me has lost 12 lbs. That is supposed to be ME!

Anyway...on to other trickery. What the heck should my son be for Halloween? I am NOT a Halloween person (I actually do not like Halloween at all) and could care less if we participate, but I feel like a bad parent if we don't. What to do, what to do? ARGH.

Rewards

I'm going to make myself earn them. I swear!

That whole shopping disorder thing...well, it's real people. It's real.

I am currently VERY OBSESSED (read: can't stop thinking about and/or researching online) with 2 items.

I have to make myself WORK for these two items.

I have fallen off the WW bandwagon. Why, oh why, is it so hard this time? It's stupid. I am bigger and better than this. I need to gain control.

So, goal #1....15 lbs gone, I get 1 of the items. Another 5, I get the other. Realistically - if I try hard, I can lose 20 lbs by the end of the year.

I have to work for these items. I can't just keep buying crap willy nilly.

Ok...day #1. Here we go.

Here and There

So, last Friday was AHS' homecoming. Typically, I could care less about homecoming and especially football. But, since I missed my 20 year class reunion this past summer, I was very excited to go to the game and catch up with some old classmates. A few of us were in charge of getting donations for baskets to raffle in the alumni tent to earn money for our class. We ended up with over $800 worth of donated items & money. Everyone really pitched in. Sadly though, we only made $198 on raffle tickets. It's better than nothing, but not better than the class ahead of us. Urgh.

Hubby was working, so I brought the boy to the game with me. Grandma was working in the alumni tent for the first half of the game and then I worked the second half. I had to try and entertain that little monster for over an hour - when all I really wanted to do was visit with old friends. In an effort to try and keep him in his stroller (which he fought almost the entire time) I fed him a hot dog and 3 (yes THREE) full size donuts. He kept saying "I want a white one mommy! I want a white donut!" I did not give him a white one...only plain ones. So, half way thru the 3rd donut he was bouncing out of his skin and could not - COULD NOT - sit in the stroller anymore and was causing a scene. So, I let him get out.

It was chilly Friday night. Mommy was sweating her arse off running up and down the hills at the stadium. That little boy had so much energy. I was a sweaty pig. Finally grandma was done working and took him home. Whew.

Had a great time visiting with old friends at the game and then at the Barley House after. Picked the boy up at midnight, he had only been sleeping for an hour and half (too much sugar perhaps?). I tried my best to gently move him from his bed to the car. He woke up. And remained awake and chatting my ear off the entire ride home. We got home around 1am. He went right to sleep. And so did I...that's like 3+ hours past my bedtime! He woke at 8:30am! ICK! Saturday was exhausting.

So, 10 days from today, we leave for Niagara Falls/Buffalo. I'm seriously thinking of just winging this trip. I mean, there is a ton of stuff to do and I don't think I need to plan out every minute of every day like I usually do. It's a little weird for me but I almost sorta "forget" that we are going until I look at the calendar.

I really need to get rid of some crap at our house. I have a TON of clothing and shoes to give away and a TON of designer shoes and handbags to try to sell on Ebay. I need this clutter out of my life. It's making me crazy.

I think I may need medication for Compulsive Shopping Disorder. I spent most of the morning at work looking for winter boots. HELP ME. (I did not, surprisingly, purchase any)

Doctors. Dreaded Scales. Duds.

I really don't want to jinx it. But, I have to give props to a few new products that were recently recommended to me by my lovely friend Meg.

I do hope that saying these things out loud this soon does not come back and bite me in the butt.

I've been battling adult acne since I was 29 years old. 9 years now (yes, that makes me 38, shut up). I have been to a slew of dermatologists who have prescribed not only medication but whacky diets, I've tried Proactive, and just about every other OTC acne product on the market. Sure, some of them have seemed to work...for a very short period. But, the acne always comes back - and sometimes with more vengence than ever - even while still using said product.

So, Meg told me she hasn't had such clear skin since she was a kid. I asked what she was using. The following combo: Dr. Hauschka's Cleansing Cream, Jurlique Calendula Cream, Kiehl's Non-Detergent Washable Cleanser and Kiehl's Calendula Herbal Extract Alcohol Free Toner.

I'm not entirely sure...but I think the key ingredient here is "calendula".

The Dr. Hauschka's Cleansing Cream is a bit strange, I'll admit. It smells a bit like vomit, and you press it onto your face with your fingers and palms. It's weird at first, but easy to get used to. After just ONE day I saw a difference in my skin. The Jurlique Calendula Cream has a funny smell and an odd color, but feels lovely on your skin.

I've used Kiehl's products off and on for years and find them to be wonderful, although they haven't always done what I have needed them to do. I do love the way the cleanser makes my skin feel and the toner feels great too.

I don't know if it's 1 product, or a combination of the products, but my skin has not been this healthy in...9 years, perhaps. Acne scabs (disgusting, I know) I've had for months are gone. I've had a couple new pimples pop up...but they are gone within a couple days. My skin is glowing. I'm so thrilled. Thank you MEG for the recommendations. I will buy these products until the end of time if they continue to work for me.

Today is WW. I'm using my "no weigh in pass". I sort of fell off the wagon. I'm not exactly sure why, but I stopped journaling. Only 4 weeks into the game and I'm already falling apart. It likely has something to do with the gain last week, and I honestly tried not to let it bother me. But, apparently it has. Humf. I've got the journal out and have journaled my food today, so I'm back on track. I will weigh in next week and deal with what the scale says. I was supposed to have lost 10 lbs by now. Damnit.

Everyone who knows me knows that I HATE SUMMER (weather). Oh sure, I like the activities that summer brings, but I do not like being hot...and I especially hate the clothes. It's very difficult to be comfortable in summer clothes when you are so self conscious about your body. I want to be covered up...ALL THE TIME. Tank tops? Perish the thought. Shorts? Pfft. Needless to say I am very hot in the summer because I simply cannot dress in summer clothing.

So, when I woke up this morning I was DELIGHTED by the temperature. I dug out a pair of black boots, threw on a black sweater and a pair of corduroy gauchos and literally bounced out the door! This is ME people. Boots. Sweaters. Jeans. Tights. Scarves.

Hello Fall. I welcome you with open arms. Ahhh.

Bus Face

We went to the Clinton Fall Festival yesterday (Clinton MI). We took a shuttle from the parking lot to the festival and back. This was the look on his face the entire time we were on the bus. I call this "Bus Face".

So, he was as thrilled as can be to ride the bus. But, not so thrilled to ride in his stroller. It was a constant battle. And I did get him out a couple times. He will walk & hold my hand for a while and then want me to carry him. Well...darn it...he's heavy. Too heavy to carry around all over the place - especially in the sweltering heat of yesterday. (It was HOT in Clinton, anyway) So, after carrying him for 5-10 minutes, I would plop him back in the stroller. He would fight, get out and walk, end up being carried...repeat.

The parade started at 2:30. He is usually napping at 2:30 (from about 1pm to 3:30pm +), so I'm sure you can imagine how exciting the parade was. We had a great seat - in the Subway driveway apron. He loved seeing the fire trucks, the horses, the Shriner's little cars and motorcycles and the bands. He could have cared less about half of the parade (the longest parade in the history of parades) though. And during that time, he would battle to get away from me, insist upon sitting in a pile of dirt and digging, and then pouring the dirt on me.

I know it's because he missed his nap. And because he's 2. He is typically a really good boy and a total joy to be around, but when he's cranked up...I just find it miserable. I told my parents (who was with us) and my husband (who was home sleeping because he's on night shift) to remind me of this day the next time I decide it's OK for the boy to miss his nap.

It's not going to happen people. Not going to happen.

Anniversary Day Trip

So, yesterday was our 9th wedding anniversary. Since it fell on a Thursday, and since my husbands schedule is not very cooperative, I decided to take day off and spend it with him. He was off on Thursday, but has to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Go figure. But, such is life.

We took the boy to the sitter and headed up to Motor City to the Detroit Institute of Arts (DIA). I've never(!) been, and it's been a very long time since he has been. What a wonderful museum. Nestled in a very hip and happening part of Detroit - right near Wayne State University campus. They have a great collection of European Art - which we always love. And some awesome pieces of Phyfe furniture and pieces from renowned A&C potter Robineau. What I wouldn't give to own a piece from each!! And Kenro Izu's photography was AMAZING! There were so many awesome pieces, and it's such a nice museum, we will definitely make a point of visiting again. AND...even more exciting is that the Detroit Science Center is right across the street!

Even with all of the construction and detours on 75, it only took a little over an hour to get there which is just fine for a little day trip.

We headed over to the Rattlesnake Club for lunch. This is award winning Chef Jimmy Schmidt's acclaimed restaurant and is situated along the completed portion of the RiverWalk. Very cool. We started with a pomegranate martini. And then a cup of cauliflower cheese soup. For my entree, I choose the Wild Alaskan King Salmon, which was served with sweet corn polenta and topped with roasted sweet chile salsa. It was divine. My husband had the Angus Beef RattleBurger topped with caramelized onions, seared wild mushrooms, honey tellicherry pepper bacon, cheddar and a side onion stack. During conversations with our fantastic waiter, he learned that we were celebrating our anniversary, so minutes after they cleared our lunch plates he appeared with a slice of no-flour chocolate cake, topped with vanilla ice cream, caramel & berry sauce, berries and a cute sugar nest (I have no idea what it's called and I don't claim to be a foodie) - and a sparkler!

It was a wonderful Anniversary Day Trip. I'm looking forward to the BIG 10 year next year. Could a trip back to Paris (our honeymoon spot) be on the horizon? Stay tuned...

**Again, the spacing...not my fault**

September 25, 1999

September 25, 1999 at half past 4 in the afternoon, Hidden Lake Gardens, Tipton Michigan.

2 years after we officially started dating, we exchange wedding vows before Uncle Harold.

You see, ours is a love affair that was meant to be.

I met him in the hallway at Adrian High School in 1986. We had a lot of mutual friends, his best friends and my best friends. So, we ended up becoming very good friends and hung out (as a group) a lot. I thought he was a sexy skinny boy with punk rock hair, black chuck high tops, and black trench coat. He was such a rebel.

We hooked up in High School. Several times. Ok, many times. I had major hots for him. I even wrote on my off-white chucks that I loved him.

After graduation, he went off to the USMC. At his going away party, he cut off his long braid and gave it to another girl in our group. I was devastated. Well…to be fair, I was dating another guy and had been for a year or so and ended up engaged to and moving to Florida with this guy. However, I did cheat on this guy with him...every chance I got.

I would see him during leave of absences from the service – and would, you guessed it, hook up with him - no matter who I was dating at the time. I loved him, after all. Plus...he went from skinny punk rock guy to "Holy Shit, look at those MUSCLES!" No matter who I was dating, I always loved him and always hooked up with him when the opportunity {ahem} arose.

He got out of the service, moved to Ann Arbor to attend college, ended up dating a girl and moving to California with her. They broke up and he moved to Arizona, where he continued school. I saw him occassionally over about 4 years...and we hooked up each time. Get this...we were at a party in Grosse Ile Michigan, and my boyfriend at the time was with me. My boyfriend fell asleep on the couch, and I hooked up with HIM in the back room! Gawd. What a slut.

He came home for a mutual friends wedding in the summer of 1997. He was in the wedding and I was invited to the wedding. Neither of us had dates, so we decided (after hooking up the night before) that we would be each others date. Well…that pretty much sealed the deal. He was home for the summer (summer break from school) and we spent every waking and non-waking hour together.

One night, in his parents hot tub after some hot hooking up, I told him “I think I’m falling in love with you” (I knew that I was TOTALLY in love with him, but I didn’t want to scare him), to which he replied “I KNOW I’m in love with you!”

That was it, we were exclusive. We were official. He went back to Arizona to finish school. I went out there as frequently as I could, and he came home whenever he had a break.

The next summer he asked if I would want his mom’s old engagement ring (she got a new one for their 30th). Being the totally spoiled and ungrateful bitch that I am I told him that I didn’t want some used old ring. On my drive home that night, I realized what I had said and what he was TRYING TO SAY. I called him and told him that “yes, of course, I would love to have your mom’s old ring!”

We didn’t talk about it again for a week or so. I felt so terrible. I thought I had really screwed things up. Then I went to pick him up for one of my softball games and he grabbed me and kissed me passionately. There was something in my mouth. Gross! I spit it out…on the ground!

Then I looked on the ground. It was the ring. Wet and dirty, he picked it up and put it on my finger and asked if I would marry him. YESSSSSSS!

Fast forward NINE YEARS. We have a wonderful 2 year old son, 2 cats, a house, and he’s still the LOVE OF MY LIFE. Happy Anniversary, Boo!

The Boy & The Weight

Just a couple quick updates. The boy seems to be doing better. Daddy stayed home with him yesterday and told me that they played, they went for a bike ride, he ate the following: 2 scooby doo graham crackers, 2 bites of ramen noodles, 1 top of a blueberry muffin, 4 marshmallows, and drank a half jug of NutriPals. He said he didn't sleep much all day, and wasn't clingy at all. He has had an adversion to Daddy touching him since he's been sick though.

So, I got home from work and he's ok for about an hour or so. I made him some cheese ravioli's. One of his most favorite things. He usually eats about 20 (yes, 20 - they are about the size of a silver dollar), so I made 20. He ate 9. I think that's pretty good. Shortly after dinner he started getting whiney/clingy and all he wanted to do is sit on my lap. I think he's playing me. He's a playa.

This morning was much of the same...whiney/clingy. I felt absolutely terrible taking him to the sitter and he cried crocodile tears when I walked out the door. I told the sitter to call if she thinks I should come get him. There weren't any other kids there yet, so I'm sure he will be totally distracted and will be fine once they arrive...but it still breaks my heart.

And he's SO SKINNY! I can't believe it. I hope these steroids kick in and make him hungry hungry hungry! I miss my boy who eats as much as a grown up!

So, my 4th weigh in was this afternoon. Pretty much a bummer. Must be I spent too much time worrying about the boy and not enough time worrying about what I was putting into my mouth. I honestly didn't eat much for 3 days, and don't think that I overate. But, I certainly didn't get any exercise, and my stomach is a mess. I'm up 2 lbs. Oh well. Onward. It will come off next week...and then some (I hope).

But, I wonder...why can't I get the croup?

One Sick Boy

Early last week, the boy had a slight cough, runny nose, runny poop, etc. Just some basic signs of a cold - or as I was convinced it was - signs of teething. He has had the exact same symptoms (above) with every tooth.

Friday morning when I dropped him off at the sitter, his symptoms seemed about the same, but he was a little clingier than usual. I told the sitter to call me if she wanted me to come get him.

She didn't call. I picked him up after work and he was still clingy and the symptoms seemed the same. I put him to bed at his usual time (8pm) and by 9:15 he was coughing so hard I felt terrible. Standing outside his door...I debated going in. Hoping it would pass. Well, it didn't. And he began SCREAMING for me...and coughing/barking at the same time. I went in. He jumped up and said "mommy! {sob} mommy! {sob} wanna get me out". How could I argue?

So, I got him out. We sat on the couch in his room for a little while. Neither of us could get comfortable. So, I asked if he wanted to get in mommy's bed. "Uh huh". He's never slept in our bed. He's only played/jumped on our bed. So, hmm. This should be fun. He fell right to sleep, arm thrown around my neck. I sort of fall asleep. It was difficult...what with a foreign object in my bed and all. Then the coughing/barking starts up again. He can't stop. He can't get comfortable. He tries. I try. We spend the next few hours trying to get sleep. It doesn't work. We end up awake at about 3:15am. He wants to come downstairs and watch Scooby. I tell him that it's too early and we'll watch Scooby later. That's not what he wanted to hear. Crying, coughing/barking begin. So, we spend the next couple hours watching Scooby. He is in my arms, dozing on and off. Me, I'm sitting upright. I'm wide awake.

We run out to Target to get some milk and cough meds. We get home, I give him the meds, and wait for them to kick in. And I wait. And wait. They never kick in. Meanwhile, he is coughing/barking non-stop. Literally. Non-stop. I'm heartbroken, and scared, so I load him in the car and head to the ER. Everyone in the place knows instantly that it's croup. They didn't even triage him because they wanted to get him in and get him treated. He was that miserable.

They give him a shot of steriods (apparently this is how they treat croup) and tell me I should see improvement within the next 6 hours. Great. What am I going to do for the next 6 hours. So, we head home, plop down on the couch, and watch dvd's all day.

I tried to put him to bed at 8pm. He wants to sleep in mommy's bed. Mommy's so damn tired, she doesn't protest. Well. Another restless night. Up at midnight...in a hot steamy bathroom. Up at 1:30am, sitting on the front porch breathing in cool night air. Neither of which bring any relief. I tried to put him in his bed. Nope. So, we laid, restlessly, in Mommy's bed, for another half hour or so only to get up and come down to the couch and watch Scooby Doo.

Thankfully, Daddy is home today and can help. Only...the boy wants nothing to do with him. Daddy tries to hold the boy, the boy protests "No daddy, not you, only mommy". This is how we spent the rest of the day. Anyway, we tried the steamy bathroom a couple more times and I do think the last time helped. He was sound asleep in my arms at 7:30pm, so I carried him upstairs, changed his diaper (to which he didn't move or make a sound), and put him in HIS bed, closed the door and walked away. We'll see.

I stayed home with him today. We went to the Pediatrician in the morning. The Doc was very concerned with his breathing. So they gave him a breathing treatment. No change. And another, different kind of breathing treatment. His breathing calms, and so does the cough. If it wouldn't have worked...he would have been admitted to the hospital! She sends us home with a prescription for steriods. He took the steriods like a trooper and I could tell that it made him feel better. We spent most of the day laying on the couch watching cartoons.

Daddy is staying home with him tomorrow. Hopefully the boy will accept that.