Buff-A-Yuck-A-Lo

So, let me just tell you about our trip to Buffalo/Niagara Falls.

Day #1: Friday morning an hour or so after my husband got home from work (he's on night shift) we hit the road. I drove, so he could sleep. I stopped around noon so the boy and I could have lunch and gas up the car. We stopped in Madison Ohio. The boy and I had lunch at McDonalds where he proceeded to dump an entire jug of milk on the floor. Off to a great start. Then he did his typical lick the caramel sauce (from the "healthy" apple dippers) from the container while it drips all down the front of him, trick. Fun fun. Thankfully the table of mullet wearing folks next to us helped with the milk spill and helped dump our wrappers and leftovers since I was trying to wrangle the boy and daddys food out to the car. We drove a little further down the road looking for a gas station - I think we found the only one in Madison and the price was $2.44! Yes! That's right...two dollars forty four cents for a gallon of gas. Jack pot. Madison is actually a very cute town despite the overabundance of mullet sightings.

So, on we go. While my husband and son napped, I enjoyed the easy peaceful drive and the absolutely stunning fall colors. We arrived at the hotel around 3:15pm. Our trip took just less than 5 1/2 hours, which wasn't bad considering we stopped for lunch. Gas prices in Buffalo...$3.67! Yep! The hotel (Comfort Suites) was nice and clean. We relaxed for a few minutes and discussed what we should do. We knew most of the attractions closed around 6pm so it didn't seem worth while to even try. So, we decide the boy might like a dip in the pool. We decided that we would order dinner in and maybe run out to a park or something for a while...to tire the boy out, you know. So, despite how I feel about bathing suits in public, I thought...what the hay. I don't know these people. Who cares. So, I put on my suit and we headed to the pool. It was very nice, and clean, and vacant. Not another soul around. Whew. There was a hot tub as well. We had a great time playing in the pool and hot tub. We headed back to the room and my husband asks where we should go for dinner. "Oh, uhm, I'm not going anywhere...I was just in a POOL. Look at me!" I said. To which he replied "Uh, well, I thought we were going out to dinner. I don't want to order in. We just got here...let's DO something." He completely forgot the conversation about ordering in. Nice. So, I took a few minutes to dry my hair and put on a little makeup. Yippee. Let's go out in public.

We stopped at the front desk for recommendations and for directions to the closest park. She points us to St. Angelo's Italian restaurant. Family friendly, good pizza, nice people. Sounds great. Our waitress seats us and takes our drink order. 5 minutes later she returns with our drinks. Uh oh. A sign of things to come? She takes our orders. At least 15 minutes later, she brings my husbands and my food out. The boys is not done yet. WHAT? This is a family restaurant? Don't they know that you NEVER bring out food until the child's food is ready. OMG. So, we sit there for at least 10 more minutes before the boys food comes out. I start eating my Greek Chicken Salad...there must be more fat and gristle than actual chicken meat on this plate...and...and...wait for it. Brown lettuce! I think I am going to throw up. I pick out the feta cheese and am done with it. My husband doesn't see what the big deal is. He says his sandwich is delicious. Well, yippee for you. In my book...this place was a complete joke and a waste of my makeup and dried hair.

We head across the street to the park...only it's 7:30pm by now and is totally dark and cold! We play for about 20 minutes and call it quits.

Back at the hotel room, I'm taking off my makeup and getting ready for bed. The boy usually goes to bed at 8pm, and since we are sharing a room, we all go to bed at 8pm. He is in the bathroom with me getting into everything, driving me completely nuts. I usher him out and tell him to go play with daddy. He says no and starts throwing a little fit. So, I start closing the door. Only half paying attention - and definitely irritated - I notice resistence. Well, it's typical for him to push back on closing doors so I can't close it. It wasn't until I hear blood curdling screams that I stop pushing. I open the door, he is standing there with CRUSHED FINGERS, screaming, sobbing. OMFG! I just closed his fingers in the fucking door! Daddy has jumped up by this point and is telling me to go get ice and he is running the boys hand under cold water. I come back with ice. The boy is screaming and sobbing and clinging to daddy for dear life. He won't even look at me. I'm hysterical. Crying, pacing, freaking the fuck out. Daddy sits with him for a while with ice on his hand, hugging him. He tells me to go relax. Yeah right. Daddy is able to bend the boys fingers (and the boy didn't scream when he did so), so we don't think they are broken. Finally, the boy wants me to hold him. I hold him and hug him while daddy goes to the store for pain reliever and bandaids. He comes back and tells me that the pharmacist recommended that we take him to the ER, even though we were able to bend his fingers. OMG! So, off to the front desk we go, for directions to the closest hospital. Ok, so apparently the closest hospital isn't great, so they strongly suggest we take him to the Women & Childrens Hospital of Buffalo - which they referred to as the "Best" hospital in Buffalo. Ok, we're there. Only 20 minutes away, but we find it absolutely impossible to find as it's not marked well and is on a dark residential street. We finally find it. We check in at 8:50pm. They call us back to an exam room at 1:30am. The Dr comes in and asks some questions and looks at it and said he wants to take an x-ray. That's what we want too. So, he said the x-ray tech would be down in a few minutes. 45 minutes pass. Then an hour. I'm like...are you fucking kidding me? I carry my sleeping child out there and ask if someone is ever going to take his effin x-ray. Oh...they haven't been down yet? Obviously not you effin moron. So, another 10 minutes pass and I walk over there again and I stand there until they FIND someone to take the effin x-ray. We get up to the x-ray room and the x-ray tech is busy complaining about her schedule and some other random bs for 5 minutes before she even comes into the room. And then she has the nerve to put on this super sweetsie voice as she straps the boy down and sends us out of the room. He is scared to death, crying and screaming the whole time...I'm dying on the other side of the door. We finally get to him and are sent back downstairs where we are ushered back to our room. I ask if someone is going to read the x-rays anytime soon and actually let us know the status. Oh, yes, yes, it shouldn't be too long, they show up on this computer within minutes. So, within 1o minutes, I am standing in the hallway, staring at the dr/nurses station with "the look" on my face. Finally the Dr comes over to tell us there are no broken bones and that he needs to write release papers. We were like...we'll wait at the desk while you write them. He writes them instantly and we are out the door. We get back to the hotel at 3:30am.

Awesome first day of vacation!

Day #2: The boy wakes up at 9am. Nice. So, since none of us got much sleep, we thought it would be good to take it easy today. Stay close, not do too much, make sure to come back to the room for a nap. So, we head to the Buffalo Museum of Science. This is a sorta-cute museum with a dinosaur bones exhibit that the boy loved and a toddler area that I didn't think we would ever be able to leave. The building's arcitecture was fantastic, but the museum was housed within the Buffalo Science School and was sort of hodgey podgey. It was cute and the boy seemed to enjoy it, so that's all that mattered. But...not really the cailber of museum we are used to. It was located in a really fabulous neighborhood. Now, it probably isn't a fabulous neighborhood - it's probably pretty seedy, but it reminds me of the OWE with big fantastic old homes. We went to Holiday Showcase Restaurant for lunch. We sort of expected some 50s diner with crazy stuff on the wall and funky music, but it was really just sort of "big boy-ish". The boy dropped his hotdog on the floor within minutes of receiving it. They replaced it free of charge, which was nice, but then he said it was "gross". It was a hotdog in natural casing, so his mother would definitely think it was gross too. I can't fault him for that.

We head back for a nap. After 45 minutes of horsing around, I finally convince the boy to sleep. I slept with him, which I never ever do, but was just exhausted. Daddy ran out and got a book and some misc stuff for the fridge. After the nap, we went to a local park to play for a while. We decided to head back to the hotel and hit the pool and order IN. So, the boy and I headed down to the pool while Daddy ordered food. I opened the door to the pool to find at least 10 MEN sitting in and around the hot tub, drinking beers and whooping it up. There I was. In a bathing suit. They were all staring at me...or at least in my head they were. I was Mortified! I argued with my head...this isn't about me. This is about the boy. So, I took off his shirt, whipped off my coverup and got in. They were nice and actually sort of flirty, which was odd considering I was in a bathing suit, and were very nice to the boy. We brought a ball with us and a couple of the guys threw it around with him for a while. One guy even called me the boys "sister". They asked if I was in any way offended that they were drinking in the pool. Um, no. And in my head...I thought "give me about 6 of those so I can deal with the fact that I am wearing a bathing suit in front of you". Ha ha. Funniest part, though, is that they all seemed to leave the minute daddy walked in the door.

So, an hour passes and we head back to the room as our delivery from La Tolteca Mexican Restaurant should be there soon. The food arrives at 8:15pm. (yes, 15 minutes after bedtime) Nice. So, we divvy up the food and discover that they completely forgot my chicken taco salad. For some reason there is a big container of beans and daddy ordered extra chips and salsa, so I ate chips, salsa and beans for dinner. It was good, and fine, but Daddy was irritated!

Day #3: We at breakfast at the hotel and finally headed to Niagara Falls. An easy 25 minutes from our hotel, and we're there. Being the sometimes stupid parent that I am, I ask the boy if he wants to ride in the stroller or walk. "I wanna walk mommy. I promise to hold your hand." Off we go. We aren't even a block away and he pulls this crap "carry me mommy, carry me". Um, no thanks. So, we turn around and get the stroller. He protests at first, but after a few minutes is fine. He gets out of the stroller when we cross the first foot bridge. We walk and walk and he picks up rocks, sticks, leaves, etc. We stop every once in a while to check out the waterfalls, but he just really isn't interested. Great. So, we walk and walk some more. We get to the falls. He likes looking at the water for about 2 minutes and then has had enough. I snap a bunch of photos and then we head into some of the grassy areas...he chases squirrels, birds, picks up rocks, etc. We go on like this for what seems like forever. We walk over to the horseshoe falls and check that out. He's more interested in the hill and the steps. Ok. After 20 minutes or so, we head up the hill to look for some lunch. He wants to be carried. Um, no. So, I put him in the stroller. He throws a fit. But after a couple minutes he is sound asleep. We stroll back to the welcome center to pick up a few souveniers and check out the lunch offerings. This place...that actually says on the building "Official Niagara Falls Welcome Center" is like some flea market with food vendors. The souvenier offerings are pathetic. Serious junk. And don't get me started on the food. So, we sit on some ratty old chairs for a few minutes to let the boy nap and try to figure out where to go for lunch. We decide we'll hit the Aquarium of Niagara first and then have lunch. Ok. The Aquarium is a total joke. They have some very sick looking seals, some fish and that's about it. We wake the boy up when we get inside and he seems very excited, so I guess it's worth the $18 admission. After about 15 minutes, we have seen the entire aquarium. No joke.

We head to the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch. Pathetic, yes, but also a relatively safe choice and since most of our dining experiences so far had been not-so-great, we thought safe was good. Everything was fine, and overpriced, but it was ok.

After lunch the boy wants to go play in the park, so we head across the street to play for a while longer, and then startd heading back to the car. By this time, he wants to be carried (we dropped the stroller off before heading to lunch), and only wants me to carry him. Fine. As I'm walking, I don't see the big pothole ahead and step right into it and nearly die. My already completely out of whack back is screaming with pain. I practically throw the boy to daddy and am paralyzed. After what seems like forever, I hobble to the car and slip inside. I am hurting pretty bad by now.

We get back to the hotel and daddy and the boy head down to the pool while I head to the store for some sort of back pain relief. It was a toss up...did I want to deal with the boy, or get away for a few minutes. Once everyone is back in the room, we decide that we don't want to go out to eat, and that after a late/large lunch we're just going to skip it and go to bed at 8pm. We have some snacky things in the room, so the boy munches on that for dinner.

Day #4: We head down to breakfast and kick around the idea of going somewhere on our way home. Check out is at noon and it's only a 5 hour drive home, so we could do something before we hit the road. We get back to the room and the boy is acting like a maniac. Daddy and I decide...fuck it. We're going home. We pack up our shit and leave. We were checked out by 9:15am.

We didn't stop for lunch and got home around 2pm, and after relaxing for a few minutes decided that we needed some good food and headed to El Camino. The perfect ending to a not so perfect vacation.

**We have decided that it's pretty miserable taking a 2 1/2 year old on vacation and plan to wait a couple years before we go anywhere again**