Didn't earn it

Ok, so, I got a new Blackberry Curve today (silver with a metallic pink cover - it's super cool!) I had every intention of making myself earn it...through weight loss. Really. I did.


I didn't wait. And I didn't earn it.


But, in my defense, this is what happened: My husband told me last night that his phone isn't holding a charge. He would charge it until it said the battery was charged, then take it off the carger and within minutes it was almost completely drained of battery power. It's been sort of dying for a while now. And since his cell phone is really the only way that I can "sometimes" get in touch with him - usually via text - I thought I had better do something about it. I was planning to give him my Voyager and get a Blackberry anyway. When I *earned* it.


So, this new situation just sort of accellerated the need for a new phone. See. See how I did that. See how I can justify any sort of shopping/spending. URGH!


I can't leave the damn thing alone. I can see why they are called Crackberrys. It is totally addictive. WOW.


My brother in law and family and us are going in on a iPod Touch for my Father in Law for Christmas. I know absolutely nothing about iPod's...about Apple products...etc. I think I will just buy directly from the Apple store and not even deal with searching for a better price. This way I know what I'm getting, right? Who knows. I have no use for the things. Especially not now. HA HA.

After VZW this morning I stopped in Tea Tree Bistro for some takeout. It was delish as always...but has left me feeling sort of bloated and blah. Blah.

And today is Halloween. We'll see how scared the boy is tonight of everyone's costumes. We'll see.

Ramblings

Every morning I battle with my son. He hates getting dressed. And he basically refuses to wear a coat.

In the evening, darn near the minute we walk in the door from the sitter, he takes of his shoes, socks...and PANTS. We live in a 98 year old house with no insulation. It's freakin cold in our house unless I have the heat set at 70+ degrees. And with $500 monthly gas bills, I refuse to turn it up that high. Especially in freakin October.

So, he runs around the rest of the evening in only a long sleeve tshirt & diaper. He often takes off the diaper too.

Back to the morning battle. I have to leave the house at 7:25am to get to the sitter and to work by 8am. Sometimes I don't have the patience in the morning to fight with him about changing out of his pj's. So, he gets to wear his pj's or half of his pj's - whichever half I can get off and replace with clothes. It's me. I know it is. He plays me.

He hates coats, sweatshirts, sweaters, etc. This morning I held up 2 coats for him to choose from. A tan jacket, and last year's winter coat (which still sorta fits). He needs a new winter coat - but if he is just going to refuse it, what's the point? Anyway, first he choose the winter coat. So, I started putting it on him. "Nooo! Not that one, mommy, not that one!" as he's squirming all over the place. So, I grab the tan jacket. "How about this one?" I say. "Mmm hmmm". And he thrusts his arms into the arm holes and then hugs me while I zip it up. It was weird. But, it worked.

I think giving him a choice may work.

He also likes to pick out his own shirts. I grabbed his favorite dump truck shirt out of the closet this morning and while I was trying to put it on him...he said "No! Not the dump truck. I wanna pick". So, back to the closet we went. He wanted to wear a (really cute) polka-dot linen button up shirt. I told him that wouldn't be warm enough (although, in hind-sight, if he would have let me put a long sleeve tee under it, it would have been fine). So, we went thru all the long sleeve tees - most of which have trucks on them - and he picked a Polar Bear tshirt from last year. It still fits...so, yay. We have a shirt! I changed his pants while changing his diaper - he was still half asleep so he wasn't paying attention.

Now I have friends telling me that their 10+ year olds give them crap about wearing coats. I really hope I don't have to go thru this for another 7 1/2 years.

Smoking with the boys!

So, 9 years ago today the husband and I quit smoking. I had smoked since I was about 17 years old. Not at my parents house, but pretty regularly otherwise. And since there was nothing else to do in the small town I grew up in, we drank and partied a lot, so I had plenty of opportunity to smoke it up on the weekends. When I was old enough to go to bars, I smoked near 2 packs per night. It was one after another, along with beer. Hubby smoked as long, and probably much more than I ever did.

Our brand at the time of quitting was Camel Wide Lights. Oh man. Talk about a smooth cigarette. And there was something extra special about the Wides too. I loved them. I still, after 9 years, occassionally dream about them.

Back a few months ago, when I had the Mirena/IUD and had completely lost my mind (seriously), I had REAL LIFE dreams that I was smoking. I drempt that I was hiding cigarettes from my husband, going out in the middle of the night to smoke, etc. Hell, maybe I WAS doing those things - I was THAT crazy when I had that damn thing.

Our reason for quitting was that we wanted to start a family. Or at least, we wanted to buy a family from the local animal shelter. 2 weeks after we quit, we headed down to pick out 2 kittens to take home with us. We adpoted John and Luke - who became Norman and Morpheous. Who are actually known today as Booka and Beady. Don't ask. I picked John, who was a cute fluffy cuddly little guy with a polka dot on his nose. I changed his name to Norman while we were in the waiting room because he was completely Psycho once out of the cage...he is now known as Booka. Dan picked Luke, the sleek skinny guy who was hanging upside down from the top of the cage. The naughty one. His name became Morpheous immediately...but is now Beady.

To this day, Booka remains crazy - totally bonkers, and Beady - naughty. Very naughty. They're good cats though, and we love them.

Now on to my son. Is it just boys, or do all pre-schoolers think bodily functions are hilarious. This kid cracks up histerically when he "toots". And will try to force more toots out. When he toots, he will put his hand over his mouth, eyes real big and say "what was that noise?" and then crack up! Same goes for burps. He is the king of burps and loves to entertain us with his fake burps. In addition, he like to watch himself pee. He's not using the potty yet (training starts in a couple weeks) but in the bathtub when all of the water has drained out, he likes to watch himself pee. He will stand or squat and contract his bladder until he pees. Then he cracks up the entire time he goes. He thinks it's hilarious. Last night after his bath, he was fake burping and it was a real long exaggerated fake burp and in the middle of it, he actually burped for real. I didn't think this kid was ever going to stop laughing. Hysterics.

I need to make an appointment for holiday photos, and think that our gimmic to get him to smile for the camera is going to have to be BURPING. Oh joy. Can't wait. The things we do, as parents, to get a good photo. *burp*

And I almost forgot...I made huge salads for dinner last night. Mixed greens, orange and yellow peppers, mushrooms, bean sprouts, tomatoes, cukes, black olives, feta cheese, grilled shrimp and topped with raisins and pepitas. My son...ate every last bit! Such a good eater! I can't imagine having a picky eater...we really lucked out. Knock on wood.

Buff-A-Yuck-A-Lo

So, let me just tell you about our trip to Buffalo/Niagara Falls.

Day #1: Friday morning an hour or so after my husband got home from work (he's on night shift) we hit the road. I drove, so he could sleep. I stopped around noon so the boy and I could have lunch and gas up the car. We stopped in Madison Ohio. The boy and I had lunch at McDonalds where he proceeded to dump an entire jug of milk on the floor. Off to a great start. Then he did his typical lick the caramel sauce (from the "healthy" apple dippers) from the container while it drips all down the front of him, trick. Fun fun. Thankfully the table of mullet wearing folks next to us helped with the milk spill and helped dump our wrappers and leftovers since I was trying to wrangle the boy and daddys food out to the car. We drove a little further down the road looking for a gas station - I think we found the only one in Madison and the price was $2.44! Yes! That's right...two dollars forty four cents for a gallon of gas. Jack pot. Madison is actually a very cute town despite the overabundance of mullet sightings.

So, on we go. While my husband and son napped, I enjoyed the easy peaceful drive and the absolutely stunning fall colors. We arrived at the hotel around 3:15pm. Our trip took just less than 5 1/2 hours, which wasn't bad considering we stopped for lunch. Gas prices in Buffalo...$3.67! Yep! The hotel (Comfort Suites) was nice and clean. We relaxed for a few minutes and discussed what we should do. We knew most of the attractions closed around 6pm so it didn't seem worth while to even try. So, we decide the boy might like a dip in the pool. We decided that we would order dinner in and maybe run out to a park or something for a while...to tire the boy out, you know. So, despite how I feel about bathing suits in public, I thought...what the hay. I don't know these people. Who cares. So, I put on my suit and we headed to the pool. It was very nice, and clean, and vacant. Not another soul around. Whew. There was a hot tub as well. We had a great time playing in the pool and hot tub. We headed back to the room and my husband asks where we should go for dinner. "Oh, uhm, I'm not going anywhere...I was just in a POOL. Look at me!" I said. To which he replied "Uh, well, I thought we were going out to dinner. I don't want to order in. We just got here...let's DO something." He completely forgot the conversation about ordering in. Nice. So, I took a few minutes to dry my hair and put on a little makeup. Yippee. Let's go out in public.

We stopped at the front desk for recommendations and for directions to the closest park. She points us to St. Angelo's Italian restaurant. Family friendly, good pizza, nice people. Sounds great. Our waitress seats us and takes our drink order. 5 minutes later she returns with our drinks. Uh oh. A sign of things to come? She takes our orders. At least 15 minutes later, she brings my husbands and my food out. The boys is not done yet. WHAT? This is a family restaurant? Don't they know that you NEVER bring out food until the child's food is ready. OMG. So, we sit there for at least 10 more minutes before the boys food comes out. I start eating my Greek Chicken Salad...there must be more fat and gristle than actual chicken meat on this plate...and...and...wait for it. Brown lettuce! I think I am going to throw up. I pick out the feta cheese and am done with it. My husband doesn't see what the big deal is. He says his sandwich is delicious. Well, yippee for you. In my book...this place was a complete joke and a waste of my makeup and dried hair.

We head across the street to the park...only it's 7:30pm by now and is totally dark and cold! We play for about 20 minutes and call it quits.

Back at the hotel room, I'm taking off my makeup and getting ready for bed. The boy usually goes to bed at 8pm, and since we are sharing a room, we all go to bed at 8pm. He is in the bathroom with me getting into everything, driving me completely nuts. I usher him out and tell him to go play with daddy. He says no and starts throwing a little fit. So, I start closing the door. Only half paying attention - and definitely irritated - I notice resistence. Well, it's typical for him to push back on closing doors so I can't close it. It wasn't until I hear blood curdling screams that I stop pushing. I open the door, he is standing there with CRUSHED FINGERS, screaming, sobbing. OMFG! I just closed his fingers in the fucking door! Daddy has jumped up by this point and is telling me to go get ice and he is running the boys hand under cold water. I come back with ice. The boy is screaming and sobbing and clinging to daddy for dear life. He won't even look at me. I'm hysterical. Crying, pacing, freaking the fuck out. Daddy sits with him for a while with ice on his hand, hugging him. He tells me to go relax. Yeah right. Daddy is able to bend the boys fingers (and the boy didn't scream when he did so), so we don't think they are broken. Finally, the boy wants me to hold him. I hold him and hug him while daddy goes to the store for pain reliever and bandaids. He comes back and tells me that the pharmacist recommended that we take him to the ER, even though we were able to bend his fingers. OMG! So, off to the front desk we go, for directions to the closest hospital. Ok, so apparently the closest hospital isn't great, so they strongly suggest we take him to the Women & Childrens Hospital of Buffalo - which they referred to as the "Best" hospital in Buffalo. Ok, we're there. Only 20 minutes away, but we find it absolutely impossible to find as it's not marked well and is on a dark residential street. We finally find it. We check in at 8:50pm. They call us back to an exam room at 1:30am. The Dr comes in and asks some questions and looks at it and said he wants to take an x-ray. That's what we want too. So, he said the x-ray tech would be down in a few minutes. 45 minutes pass. Then an hour. I'm like...are you fucking kidding me? I carry my sleeping child out there and ask if someone is ever going to take his effin x-ray. Oh...they haven't been down yet? Obviously not you effin moron. So, another 10 minutes pass and I walk over there again and I stand there until they FIND someone to take the effin x-ray. We get up to the x-ray room and the x-ray tech is busy complaining about her schedule and some other random bs for 5 minutes before she even comes into the room. And then she has the nerve to put on this super sweetsie voice as she straps the boy down and sends us out of the room. He is scared to death, crying and screaming the whole time...I'm dying on the other side of the door. We finally get to him and are sent back downstairs where we are ushered back to our room. I ask if someone is going to read the x-rays anytime soon and actually let us know the status. Oh, yes, yes, it shouldn't be too long, they show up on this computer within minutes. So, within 1o minutes, I am standing in the hallway, staring at the dr/nurses station with "the look" on my face. Finally the Dr comes over to tell us there are no broken bones and that he needs to write release papers. We were like...we'll wait at the desk while you write them. He writes them instantly and we are out the door. We get back to the hotel at 3:30am.

Awesome first day of vacation!

Day #2: The boy wakes up at 9am. Nice. So, since none of us got much sleep, we thought it would be good to take it easy today. Stay close, not do too much, make sure to come back to the room for a nap. So, we head to the Buffalo Museum of Science. This is a sorta-cute museum with a dinosaur bones exhibit that the boy loved and a toddler area that I didn't think we would ever be able to leave. The building's arcitecture was fantastic, but the museum was housed within the Buffalo Science School and was sort of hodgey podgey. It was cute and the boy seemed to enjoy it, so that's all that mattered. But...not really the cailber of museum we are used to. It was located in a really fabulous neighborhood. Now, it probably isn't a fabulous neighborhood - it's probably pretty seedy, but it reminds me of the OWE with big fantastic old homes. We went to Holiday Showcase Restaurant for lunch. We sort of expected some 50s diner with crazy stuff on the wall and funky music, but it was really just sort of "big boy-ish". The boy dropped his hotdog on the floor within minutes of receiving it. They replaced it free of charge, which was nice, but then he said it was "gross". It was a hotdog in natural casing, so his mother would definitely think it was gross too. I can't fault him for that.

We head back for a nap. After 45 minutes of horsing around, I finally convince the boy to sleep. I slept with him, which I never ever do, but was just exhausted. Daddy ran out and got a book and some misc stuff for the fridge. After the nap, we went to a local park to play for a while. We decided to head back to the hotel and hit the pool and order IN. So, the boy and I headed down to the pool while Daddy ordered food. I opened the door to the pool to find at least 10 MEN sitting in and around the hot tub, drinking beers and whooping it up. There I was. In a bathing suit. They were all staring at me...or at least in my head they were. I was Mortified! I argued with my head...this isn't about me. This is about the boy. So, I took off his shirt, whipped off my coverup and got in. They were nice and actually sort of flirty, which was odd considering I was in a bathing suit, and were very nice to the boy. We brought a ball with us and a couple of the guys threw it around with him for a while. One guy even called me the boys "sister". They asked if I was in any way offended that they were drinking in the pool. Um, no. And in my head...I thought "give me about 6 of those so I can deal with the fact that I am wearing a bathing suit in front of you". Ha ha. Funniest part, though, is that they all seemed to leave the minute daddy walked in the door.

So, an hour passes and we head back to the room as our delivery from La Tolteca Mexican Restaurant should be there soon. The food arrives at 8:15pm. (yes, 15 minutes after bedtime) Nice. So, we divvy up the food and discover that they completely forgot my chicken taco salad. For some reason there is a big container of beans and daddy ordered extra chips and salsa, so I ate chips, salsa and beans for dinner. It was good, and fine, but Daddy was irritated!

Day #3: We at breakfast at the hotel and finally headed to Niagara Falls. An easy 25 minutes from our hotel, and we're there. Being the sometimes stupid parent that I am, I ask the boy if he wants to ride in the stroller or walk. "I wanna walk mommy. I promise to hold your hand." Off we go. We aren't even a block away and he pulls this crap "carry me mommy, carry me". Um, no thanks. So, we turn around and get the stroller. He protests at first, but after a few minutes is fine. He gets out of the stroller when we cross the first foot bridge. We walk and walk and he picks up rocks, sticks, leaves, etc. We stop every once in a while to check out the waterfalls, but he just really isn't interested. Great. So, we walk and walk some more. We get to the falls. He likes looking at the water for about 2 minutes and then has had enough. I snap a bunch of photos and then we head into some of the grassy areas...he chases squirrels, birds, picks up rocks, etc. We go on like this for what seems like forever. We walk over to the horseshoe falls and check that out. He's more interested in the hill and the steps. Ok. After 20 minutes or so, we head up the hill to look for some lunch. He wants to be carried. Um, no. So, I put him in the stroller. He throws a fit. But after a couple minutes he is sound asleep. We stroll back to the welcome center to pick up a few souveniers and check out the lunch offerings. This place...that actually says on the building "Official Niagara Falls Welcome Center" is like some flea market with food vendors. The souvenier offerings are pathetic. Serious junk. And don't get me started on the food. So, we sit on some ratty old chairs for a few minutes to let the boy nap and try to figure out where to go for lunch. We decide we'll hit the Aquarium of Niagara first and then have lunch. Ok. The Aquarium is a total joke. They have some very sick looking seals, some fish and that's about it. We wake the boy up when we get inside and he seems very excited, so I guess it's worth the $18 admission. After about 15 minutes, we have seen the entire aquarium. No joke.

We head to the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch. Pathetic, yes, but also a relatively safe choice and since most of our dining experiences so far had been not-so-great, we thought safe was good. Everything was fine, and overpriced, but it was ok.

After lunch the boy wants to go play in the park, so we head across the street to play for a while longer, and then startd heading back to the car. By this time, he wants to be carried (we dropped the stroller off before heading to lunch), and only wants me to carry him. Fine. As I'm walking, I don't see the big pothole ahead and step right into it and nearly die. My already completely out of whack back is screaming with pain. I practically throw the boy to daddy and am paralyzed. After what seems like forever, I hobble to the car and slip inside. I am hurting pretty bad by now.

We get back to the hotel and daddy and the boy head down to the pool while I head to the store for some sort of back pain relief. It was a toss up...did I want to deal with the boy, or get away for a few minutes. Once everyone is back in the room, we decide that we don't want to go out to eat, and that after a late/large lunch we're just going to skip it and go to bed at 8pm. We have some snacky things in the room, so the boy munches on that for dinner.

Day #4: We head down to breakfast and kick around the idea of going somewhere on our way home. Check out is at noon and it's only a 5 hour drive home, so we could do something before we hit the road. We get back to the room and the boy is acting like a maniac. Daddy and I decide...fuck it. We're going home. We pack up our shit and leave. We were checked out by 9:15am.

We didn't stop for lunch and got home around 2pm, and after relaxing for a few minutes decided that we needed some good food and headed to El Camino. The perfect ending to a not so perfect vacation.

**We have decided that it's pretty miserable taking a 2 1/2 year old on vacation and plan to wait a couple years before we go anywhere again**

WW

Ok, so I went to WW today. I was nervous. I feel like I have spiraled out of control. I still haven't journaled. I did journal last week - on the day of weigh in - and then not again all week. I don't know what my problem is. I need to get back in the habit.

Anyway, I stepped on the scale. I told the lady behind the counter that it wasn't going to be pretty. She said..."well, you're down" and then sort of whispered the rest. I thought she said "point 4". I was ok with a .4 loss since I thought I would have gained.

She gave my book back and I went into the meeting room and sat down. I opened my book. I lost 2.4! WHAT? Are you joking? I was totally and completely off track this past week. My weigh in's have been so all over the place I don't know what to think.

I ate at El Camino - 2 TIMES - this weekend. I ate 2 chocolate cupcakes...with chocolate frosting AND sprinkles. I ate a half bag of kettle corn at Farmer Charley's. I didn't go to the gym once.

I'm blown away. But, I'm also sort of GEARED UP! That means...less than 9 lbs until my first goal...and a reward.

Hmmm. Our trip to Niagara Falls will be difficult, but hopefully it will entail a lot of walking and/or carrying around a 30 lb kid. And I will "try" to eat sensibly. I don't think Niagara Falls/Buffalo are really known for their excellent fare, so hopefully I won't be too tempted to cheat. :)

I CAN DO THIS! I WILL DO THIS!

Disorder(s)(ly)(ed)

It really is a problem. Compulsive Shopping. I admit I have a problem. I think that's the first step...admitting it. I am trying to correct it. Really. I am.


I haven't purchased anything for myself since 10/2. I did buy 2 sweatshirts for my son. He needed them. Last years no longer fit. And a new pair of shoes for him. I purchased a really nice pair of leather shoes on endless.com for him a month or so ago. They're black leather with a brown stripe on them. I bought them with the intent that they would be his every day shoes - covering the black or brown shoe dilemma I often have. After a week of wearing these to the sitter...they were showing signs of wear. 1 week. $69 toddler shoes. Scuffed. I was not thrilled, to say the least. But, honestly, what did I think would happen? Did I think [hope] my son wouldn't "play" in these shoes? Did I think [hope] he would tip-toe around and avoid dirt and concrete and whatever sticky/gross/gooey stuff kids attract? COME ON. USE YOUR BRAIN! So, in an effort to save my sanity over these shoes staying "nice", I purchased a very cute pair of brown leather (cheap leather - not "Handmade in Italy" leather [help me]) shoes at Sears. These are his every day/play/baby sitter shoes.


The failing economy is making me increasingly nervous, and I KNOW that I have to change my spending habits in order for my family to survive. I used 2 coupons at the grocery store on Sunday. I haven't used coupons in...um...ever. I do make a habit of only buying items on sale, or store-brand items, as I'm not really very brand loyal when it comes to grocery items. I will not, however, skimp on organic milk, organic meat, or organic eggs. I am going to make an effort to use coupons for my weekly grocery trips. I have considered giving Aldi another try, but I really have no desire (or time) to go to more than 1 grocery store each week.

I have been eating lunch out about once a week, which is always a visit to Pam's for a regular kitchen sink salad, a cup of soup and a Diet Coke. It costs around $12. That's $48 a month that I could save if I pack my lunch. Or at least cut back to every other week or just once per month. I do love her salads. And soup. And her canned Diet Coke is the best. :) I do love supporting local businesses, but I am going to try and cut back.

I'm not going to quit WW. Although, I do need to take it more seriously.

We leave for Niagara Falls on Friday. I am not in any way prepared for this trip. This is very uncharacteristic of me. I typically have lists made, directions and itineraries printed, suitcases out, etc by now.

We come back on Monday. Hubby and I are both off Tuesday and are taking the boy to the sitter. Hubby is going to re-side our garage (or at least the 1 side he can get to easily) since he's had the necessary materials for about 6 months now, and I am going to take loads of crap to Goodwill/Salvation Army. I am also going to donate about a thousand pairs of shoes to Soles for Souls. Some of the clothes I am donating have been on my 3rd floor since I lost weight with WW 5 years ago! Thankfully these clothes are all still way too big...but what on earth am I keeping them for? It's things like this that make me crazy. But I feel like I never have time to do things like this. I am taking the time. Tuesday, October 21st. It's gone. It's all gone. Besides...I want the tax credits, so it has to be donated soon anyway.

The boy is getting taller and therefore thinning out (he's not really very big around anyway, despite the way he eats). He has 3 pair of pants that fit around the waist and in length. He has 4 pair of pants that still fit in the length (good enough for the sitter anyway) but are absolutely enormous around the waist. I'm giving them to goodwill. He does have 3 pair of sweatpants that fit as well...so I am trying not to run out and buy him new pants. I am TRYING.

I am obsessing over a pair of boots, a new cell phone and 2 tattoos...but I am making myself earn them. Weight Watchers style.

Corn Stalks and whatnot

Hubby was off all weekend, so we decided to have some family fun. Grandma and Grandpa (daddy's parents) came over Saturday and we headed to Monroe to check out Farmer Charley's. We went for a hay ride, pet some goats, ran thru corn mazes & the pumpkin patch, played in the toddler area and tried to go for a train ride - but the conductor was no where to be found for about 5 minutes. The boy was over it. The boy really thought the corn maze was a blast as Daddy ran ahead and hid around the corner. The boy had a great time trying to find Daddy, and tried, several times, to make his own path thru the corn.

Sunday we headed over to a friends house to play with their [almost] 5 year old. The boy had a great time. After his nap, we headed to dinner - El Camino, the boy's favorite place - with Grandma and Grandpa (mommy's parents), and then they came over to play afterwards.

Oh, did I forget to mention that we went to El Camino on Saturday night as well. Pathetic, yes. Delicious, yes.

I am definitely sick. I have that same sinus garbage I've had about 4 or 5 times this year. Starts with a dry, scratchy throat and sinus pressure. Then along comes the sinus drainage down the back of the throat and the overall feeling of being run over by a truck. Yippee.

I was heading up the basement steps, after putting clothes in the washer, and saw that the boy was heading down the steps. Our basement is gross. Yucky, old, dirty, gross basement. I NEVER let the boy come down there. Never. Over-protect much? Yes. Anyway, I started up the steps, scooped him up and started to carry him back up the steps. My slipper slipped and I nearly fell - but was able to set him down on the landing. I ushered him up the steps and felt pain as I climbed the rest of the steps. My foot was sore all day yesterday and throbbing throughout the night. Today...it's black/blue and swollen and I can barely put any pressure on it. I think I may have broken my big toe! ACK.

Good times. Good times. Sick & broken...days before vacation.

Snake! I like Snakes!

My husband brought home this tube from his brothers construction business. He thought it would be a good toy for the boy. I was like...are you kidding me? Get that thing out of the house. Well, he didn't get it out of the house, and the boy does love playing with it. Monday night, the boy crawled in it and hubby picked it up and started swinging it around. See below... So, last night, I asked the boy what he wanted to be for Halloween. Since mommy doesn't particularly like Halloween, we've never really talked about it, so he really has no clue. So, I tried to explain the whole costume thing and then starting making suggestions as to what he could dress up as. He shot down most of my suggestions (Fireman, Police Man, Mail Man, Kitty, Puppy, Dinosaur, Bob The Builder, Scooby Doo, Shaggy, a tiger, turtle, bear, bug, Thomas The Train [or Thomas the Tank Engine, as he calls him], dragon, Elmo, horse, on and on and on), but as we were watching Bob The Builder last night...he said "Mommy, I wanna be Wendy for Halloween". Um, ok. I have no problem with that.

I was prepared to try and find a Wendy costume online today, but when I asked him this morning what he wanted to be for Halloween, he said "Ummmmm. I dunno." So, I started making suggestions again and he interrupted me when I was listing off different animals and said "Snake! I like Snakes! I want to be a Snake!". So...ok, a snake.

Do I start looking for a snake costume? Or, do I continue to ask him for a few more days? Should I just take him to a Halloween store and see what happens?

Tricky

Those scales. I tell ya. They are tricky.

So, 2 weeks ago - my weigh in just after the boy had been sick was not good. I was up around 2 lbs. It didn't make much sense to me. I guess I really did nothing but sit on the couch with him for 3 days straight, and crammed food in my mouth when I had 30 seconds to myself. But, I wasn't eating bad food.

I used my "no weigh in pass" the following week because I felt like I have completely fallen off the wagon. I've only journaled 1 or 2 times in the past 2 weeks and just feel terrible for letting myself get so out of control.

So, today was the day. The dreaded scale day. I decided I had to face the music. After {ahem} having a little visitor arrive this morning, I was doubly terrified of the scale.

Oddly enough, I lost .6 lbs. I am in shock. I even ate out 3 times in the past week (I *rarely* eat out), and had a couple beers (and I even more [less?] rarely drink). Odd. Very odd.

So, I feel pretty focused. I just ate my 4 pt lunch and am still sort of hungry and may eat my breakfast that I didn't eat this morning because I don't eat before weigh ins. I'm gonna do this. I am going to get this weight off. As mentioned in yesterday's post, there are 2 (actually, 3 now) items I really want. I am going to force myself to work for them.

One of the members who joined the same day as me has lost 12 lbs. That is supposed to be ME!

Anyway...on to other trickery. What the heck should my son be for Halloween? I am NOT a Halloween person (I actually do not like Halloween at all) and could care less if we participate, but I feel like a bad parent if we don't. What to do, what to do? ARGH.

Rewards

I'm going to make myself earn them. I swear!

That whole shopping disorder thing...well, it's real people. It's real.

I am currently VERY OBSESSED (read: can't stop thinking about and/or researching online) with 2 items.

I have to make myself WORK for these two items.

I have fallen off the WW bandwagon. Why, oh why, is it so hard this time? It's stupid. I am bigger and better than this. I need to gain control.

So, goal #1....15 lbs gone, I get 1 of the items. Another 5, I get the other. Realistically - if I try hard, I can lose 20 lbs by the end of the year.

I have to work for these items. I can't just keep buying crap willy nilly.

Ok...day #1. Here we go.

Here and There

So, last Friday was AHS' homecoming. Typically, I could care less about homecoming and especially football. But, since I missed my 20 year class reunion this past summer, I was very excited to go to the game and catch up with some old classmates. A few of us were in charge of getting donations for baskets to raffle in the alumni tent to earn money for our class. We ended up with over $800 worth of donated items & money. Everyone really pitched in. Sadly though, we only made $198 on raffle tickets. It's better than nothing, but not better than the class ahead of us. Urgh.

Hubby was working, so I brought the boy to the game with me. Grandma was working in the alumni tent for the first half of the game and then I worked the second half. I had to try and entertain that little monster for over an hour - when all I really wanted to do was visit with old friends. In an effort to try and keep him in his stroller (which he fought almost the entire time) I fed him a hot dog and 3 (yes THREE) full size donuts. He kept saying "I want a white one mommy! I want a white donut!" I did not give him a white one...only plain ones. So, half way thru the 3rd donut he was bouncing out of his skin and could not - COULD NOT - sit in the stroller anymore and was causing a scene. So, I let him get out.

It was chilly Friday night. Mommy was sweating her arse off running up and down the hills at the stadium. That little boy had so much energy. I was a sweaty pig. Finally grandma was done working and took him home. Whew.

Had a great time visiting with old friends at the game and then at the Barley House after. Picked the boy up at midnight, he had only been sleeping for an hour and half (too much sugar perhaps?). I tried my best to gently move him from his bed to the car. He woke up. And remained awake and chatting my ear off the entire ride home. We got home around 1am. He went right to sleep. And so did I...that's like 3+ hours past my bedtime! He woke at 8:30am! ICK! Saturday was exhausting.

So, 10 days from today, we leave for Niagara Falls/Buffalo. I'm seriously thinking of just winging this trip. I mean, there is a ton of stuff to do and I don't think I need to plan out every minute of every day like I usually do. It's a little weird for me but I almost sorta "forget" that we are going until I look at the calendar.

I really need to get rid of some crap at our house. I have a TON of clothing and shoes to give away and a TON of designer shoes and handbags to try to sell on Ebay. I need this clutter out of my life. It's making me crazy.

I think I may need medication for Compulsive Shopping Disorder. I spent most of the morning at work looking for winter boots. HELP ME. (I did not, surprisingly, purchase any)

Doctors. Dreaded Scales. Duds.

I really don't want to jinx it. But, I have to give props to a few new products that were recently recommended to me by my lovely friend Meg.

I do hope that saying these things out loud this soon does not come back and bite me in the butt.

I've been battling adult acne since I was 29 years old. 9 years now (yes, that makes me 38, shut up). I have been to a slew of dermatologists who have prescribed not only medication but whacky diets, I've tried Proactive, and just about every other OTC acne product on the market. Sure, some of them have seemed to work...for a very short period. But, the acne always comes back - and sometimes with more vengence than ever - even while still using said product.

So, Meg told me she hasn't had such clear skin since she was a kid. I asked what she was using. The following combo: Dr. Hauschka's Cleansing Cream, Jurlique Calendula Cream, Kiehl's Non-Detergent Washable Cleanser and Kiehl's Calendula Herbal Extract Alcohol Free Toner.

I'm not entirely sure...but I think the key ingredient here is "calendula".

The Dr. Hauschka's Cleansing Cream is a bit strange, I'll admit. It smells a bit like vomit, and you press it onto your face with your fingers and palms. It's weird at first, but easy to get used to. After just ONE day I saw a difference in my skin. The Jurlique Calendula Cream has a funny smell and an odd color, but feels lovely on your skin.

I've used Kiehl's products off and on for years and find them to be wonderful, although they haven't always done what I have needed them to do. I do love the way the cleanser makes my skin feel and the toner feels great too.

I don't know if it's 1 product, or a combination of the products, but my skin has not been this healthy in...9 years, perhaps. Acne scabs (disgusting, I know) I've had for months are gone. I've had a couple new pimples pop up...but they are gone within a couple days. My skin is glowing. I'm so thrilled. Thank you MEG for the recommendations. I will buy these products until the end of time if they continue to work for me.

Today is WW. I'm using my "no weigh in pass". I sort of fell off the wagon. I'm not exactly sure why, but I stopped journaling. Only 4 weeks into the game and I'm already falling apart. It likely has something to do with the gain last week, and I honestly tried not to let it bother me. But, apparently it has. Humf. I've got the journal out and have journaled my food today, so I'm back on track. I will weigh in next week and deal with what the scale says. I was supposed to have lost 10 lbs by now. Damnit.

Everyone who knows me knows that I HATE SUMMER (weather). Oh sure, I like the activities that summer brings, but I do not like being hot...and I especially hate the clothes. It's very difficult to be comfortable in summer clothes when you are so self conscious about your body. I want to be covered up...ALL THE TIME. Tank tops? Perish the thought. Shorts? Pfft. Needless to say I am very hot in the summer because I simply cannot dress in summer clothing.

So, when I woke up this morning I was DELIGHTED by the temperature. I dug out a pair of black boots, threw on a black sweater and a pair of corduroy gauchos and literally bounced out the door! This is ME people. Boots. Sweaters. Jeans. Tights. Scarves.

Hello Fall. I welcome you with open arms. Ahhh.