I used to love you. But now I hate you.

Dear Mirena,

I loved you. I really and truly did. You seemed to be my savior. With you I no longer had to worry about accidentally getting pregnant - because I do not want another child. I love the one I have (VERY MUCH) and do not have any more love (aka: time, energy, patience) to give. I loved you for this protection.

You seemed to make my monthly womanly intruder subside. I loved you for this. I truly did.

So, it will be a year ago in August that we began our relationship, and 2 to 2 1/2 months ago, my feelings started changing.

At first, it wasn't my feelings for you. It was my feelings - in general. You make me cry. You make me yell. You make me so mad over truly insignificant things that I thought I was going crazy. You make me cramp. You make me bleed. You make my head hurt. Every day. You make me dizzy. You make me feel sluggish and extremely tired despite sleeping at least 9 hours per night. You make my belly bloat. You made me lose my desire for sex. You make my vision blurry. I even lost 90% of my sight one day...for 3 hours. I was scared to death. You make me feel like I am starving. You make me fat. There is more...but I will spare my readers (all 2 of them).

I didn't think YOU were the cause of all of these things. I thought it was motherhood. I thought it was my job. I thought it was who-knows-what. I never considered YOU could be the root of so much evil.

Then I googled your side effects. (Mind you...your website says side effects are rare, minor and go away after 3 months) I read hundreds of other women's stories about you. They call you "The Monster". Many women didn't have problems with you until 1, 2, or even 3 years into your relationship. Not all women hate you, but there is a great deal of them who do. The stories are like a trainwreck...I just can't stop looking at them. I learned that MANY women who have a relationship with you find it impossible to lose weight despite eating a very healthy diet and getting regular exercise. Some have even gained. But most just can't seem to make the scale move.

This resonated with me. I have been strict with my diet since the beginning of the year, and even more strict since March. I don't snack at night. I eat an absurd amount of fruits and vegetables. I keep my portion sizes in check. I rarely drink alcohol. I rarely eat out. And I try and exercise at least 3 days per week. I have a toddler with an endless supply of energy, so even if I don't go to the gym, I am 100 times more active than I used to be. But, the scale won't budge. People I work with, who started "dieting" in the fall and winter are shrinking around me. Eating things like foot long subs, taco bell and ramen noodles. I can only dream of eating those things.

So there you have it. I hate you. I want you to be removed from my body. I'm a little torn though. I did pay $500 for you. But I need to remind myself that my happiness and well being (not to mention my family's happiness and well being) are much more important than the money I threw away on you.

Hostilely yours,

m2z